upturd

when you hold back an impending crap long and hard enough that it actually creeps back upwards, buying you a little more time before either making it to a bathroom or shitting your pants

Carl suddenly had to take a shit on a floatplane but there was no bathroom, so he clenched up tight and forced an upturd.

oyster flaps

ragged and/or loose vagina lips

At one time in her life Michelle had a tight vagina, but it had long since turned into a a pair of old oyster flaps.

15👍 1👎

buttcrack butter

When you open the buttcrack for sex and find any kind of fresh residue or deposit that hasnt been cleaned out.

"Man I was good to go before I spread the ass cheeks and caught some buttcrack butter. That softened my root real quick."

8👍 1👎

all ball access pass

when a woman is so smoking that she gets instant access to the precious balls -and anything else she wants--without having to say a word or do anything else.

Dora is so hot, I gave her an all ball access pass as soon as I laid eyes on her.

Bjorf

When you combine the styles of Bjork (or a generally Icelandic Elven type look) with Smurftones, most often by dying your hair a blue smurfberry color or wearing smurf blue makeup.

"These rave girls all be dying their hair blue and gettin' that Bjorf} look. Know what I'm talking bout?"

1👍 2👎

testiclify

to testify to the truth of something upon ones testicles. if a man is proven to have lied after testiclifying, his testicles shall be removed

"I testiclify to the fact that the earth is flat"

turd flattery

when someone happens upon an un-flushed toilet and haphazardly finds beauty in a left-behind turd

Curtis could not help but express his sincere turd flattery after he hopped upon a perfect brown spiral in the Burger King bathroom