mother earth

A giant floating rock that lost its value after humans came into existence.

Mother Earth will die a slow, painful death.

29👍 20👎

braces

Those metal wires on your teeth that can make you or break you, depending on your personality. They seem to be more acceptable now, if not popular. The most common color is black.

I wish I still had my braces.
Braces are fucking sexy, I don't care what people say.

58👍 22👎

braces

Those metal wires on your teeth that can make you or break you, depending on your personality. They seem to be more acceptable now, if not popular. The most common color is black.

I wish I still had my braces.

Braces are fucking sexy, I don't care what people say.

90👍 44👎

mirror

Anything with a vague reflection of your self-image.

Constantly looking at a mirror won't make you look better.

If you truly want to see yourself, don't use a mirror, use a camera.

23👍 28👎

love button

Also known as a clitoris.

My girlfriend laughs when I push her love button!

If you push it enough times, you get a prize!

108👍 51👎

camera

1. A device that can capture a frozen image of time itself.
2. An object capable of destroying lives.
3. A device that shows what you really look like.

1. Teh sun will nevere look the same.
2. This is a picture of my boss cheating on his wife. I used a camera to take the picture.
3. Person 1: Oh my god. Why didn't anyone tell me?
Person 2: You always looked like that, you dumbshit.
Person 1: Nooooooooooooo.

74👍 27👎

.99 caliber

A firearm capable of decapitating an elephant with one shot.

Chuck Norris keeps a .99 caliber... INSIDE HIS REAL GUN.

22👍 16👎