Halloween

That one time of year when everybody thinks everyone in their neighborhood suddenly turns into a child poisoning psychopath.

October 30: "Oh howdy, neighbor! Can't wait for Halloween tomorrow. It's going to be a fun night. Make sure to bring plenty of candy for the kids."
October 31: "Check all the candy! The next door neighbor might have put drugs in it! We can't trust any of these people that we've lived next door to for years!"

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yawn

The sound I make while watching Family Guy.

Family Guy was on and I emitted a yawn.

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whipping a pile of horse bones

The phrase "whipping a dead horse" means to attempt to revive a moot point or issue. "Whipping a pile of horse bones" means to keep making futile and pointless attempts to revive interest in something that no one has cared about for so long its rotted away into a skeleton of its former self.

AKA: The Simpsons

Seasons 1 through 6 were the best. By season 8, FOX and Matt Groening were whipping a dead horse. Which means for the last 10 seasons they have been whipping a pile of horse bones.

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Measurable Eternity

A known period of time that isn't really that long but still seems to take forever.

Examples:

The last day of school before summer vacation begins.

The last 10 minutes of work before a 3 day weekend.

Waiting through all the ads and trailers before the movie you went to see starts.

Any business meeting.

Our weekly staff meeting at work was another measurable eternity. With every minute that passed I could feel whole geological epochs passing.

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yeartardedness

An affliction suffered by millions of people starting in January and lasting 2 to 3 weeks. Said afflicted unconciously write the dates on checks, forms, documents, etc. as the date from the previous year.

Bank Teller: "Sir, you wrote the date on your check as 1/3/2008. Its actually 1/3/2009."
Me: "Damn my yeartardedness!"

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danish landmine

A Lego brick left on the floor that you step on in the middle of the night..

I went to get a midnight snack and stepped on a danish landmine my kid had left in the kitchen. I couldn't walk for three days.

nerds

noun: The most dangerous people in the entire world. Nerds have invented machine guns, assault rifles, armor piercing ammunition, high explosives, napalm, tanks, anti-personnel mines, torpedoes, cannons, surface-to-air missiles, fighter aircraft, bombers, submarines, destroyers, battleships, aircraft carriers, chemical and biological weapons, nuclear bombs, and ICBMs

Every weapon of mass destruction ever concieved of or built was concieved of or built by nerds.

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