Vaginal Valance

A short skirt which only just covers the genetalia. Often somewhat frilled, in contrast to the less elaborate pussy pelmet.

Lucinda was sure to get Roy's attention in her new vaginal valance

Fauxgarth

A painting that purports to be by William Hogarth (1697 –1764), or has been attributed to him, but is clearly by someone else, usually of recent date.

Can sometimes be used more generally to refer to any pseudo-eighteenth century copy of a work of art or furniture etc.

"Awfully sorry to tell you this Jeremy but I think you've bought a Fauxgarth."

"Gadzooks, why do you say that Welmsley?"

"Well it's painted in acrylics for a start."