fauxcation line

When a guy tells a girl that he's taking the summer off from working with some company, when he is actually unemployed.

Duder 1: "What did you tell that fine bitch at the club last night?"

Duder 2: "Oh dude I told her I was taking the summer off from MS."

Duder 1: "Wow dude, you gave her the old fauxcation line? Damn, you better hope she doesn't find out your ass in unemployed and broke son!"

10👍 2👎

relex

A combination of 'relax' and 'sex'. Relex is the act of relaxing while having sexual intercourse.

Duder 1: "How was your first time?"

Duder 2: "Oh man it was cool. I was totally relex. I wasn't nervous at all."

Duder 1: "You're my idol dude."

36👍 9👎

house warming activist

A person that eagerly tries to get the ball rolling on your house warming party. House warming activists are very tenacious and often ask you 'when is your house warming party?' every day.

Duder 1: "Dude you moved in like 2 days ago! He's already asking you about that?"

Duder 2: "Yea dude I see him every day at lunch and the first thing he says is 'When's your house warming?'."

Duder 1: "Damn son! You got yourself a house warming activist right there."

20👍 8👎

dog the demolisher

Any canine that destroys your place while you are away. The most common casualties of dog the demolisher include window drapes, windowsills, walls, coffee tables and blinds.

Duder 1: "Holy fuck dude what happened to all your shit?"

Duder 2: "My damn border collie chewed the shit out of my drapes and tore some paint off the walls. This shit is going to cost me like $500 bucks to fix."

Duder 1: "Damn, you got yourself dog the demolisher right there dude."

8👍 2👎

sushi sickness

The nauseating, upset stomach feeling you sometimes get after dining out on some cheap sushi.

Duder 1: "Oh my god dude my stomach hurts. I feel like I'm gonna puke."

Duder 2: "Dang dude what did you have for dinner tonight."

Duder 1: "I went to sushi. I knew I shouldn't have got that mackerel."

Duder 2: "Yea dude, mackerel always gives you the sushi sickness."

296👍 1205👎

titty pic

The one and only picture of a small chested girl where here tits appear to be large.

Duder 1: "Whoa! Is that your girl? I love the blue thing in her hair and her titties look so big."

Duder 2: "Yea, they do. But they aren't that big. They just look big in that pic."

Duder 1: "So this is her titty pic? Well, it's still nice anyway. I'd cut."

23👍 14👎

dick book

A journal or log kept by a woman that counts the number of times she's had sex with her boyfriend.

Chica: "Hey baby, hold on a second. This will be our 400th time! We should do something special."

Duder: "400th? How do you know that girl?"

Chica: "I keep track in my dick book."

Duder: "Wow! Ok, let's put the blue ribbon I love in your hair. That'll make it special."

17👍 8👎