contradicting shit-giver

A person that busts your balls over something when they too are guilty of it.

Duder 1: "Ok, I'm down. Hey Pete you down to kick it tomorrow night?"

Duder 2: "Yea right you gotta ask his ass like a month in advance. He's always too busy on short notice."

Pete: "Yea sure, I'm down. How about you dude?"

Duder 2: "Oh shit....um.....well I'm busy."

Pete: "You're such a contradicting shit-giver."

14👍 6👎

cack crash

When your penis gets too tired to perform and just quits on you. Before a cack crash, your penis will usually be extremely excited like someone pumped him full of caffeine.

Duder 1: "Hey doggy how'd it go with that brizzle last night?"

Duder 2: "Well it started off great, but then my dick just went limp on me. I was all hard at first so I thought it would be an epic f*ck session, but it wasn't."

Duder 1: "Oh man, that's classic cack crash, B. Better luck next time.... oh wait there won't be a next time biatch!"

Duder 2: "Yeah... thanks a lot you dick."

6👍 7👎

CE blocker

Any object, especially a picture of your girlfriend, used to cover up the check engine light in your car. Most people that use a CE blocker are too broke to fix their car and don't want to see that their check engine light is still on.

Duder 1: "Oh is that your girl? Damn you love the asians."

Duder 2: "Yeah it's only there to cover up this."

Duder 1: "Oh snap! Nice CE blocker. How long has your check engine light been on?"

Duder 2: "For like 6 months."

11👍 3👎

repeat wardrobe

A person's extremely small collection (usually 3 or 4 pieces) of clothing that they wear every week. Most people with a repeat wardrobe get made fun of frequently.

Duder 1: "Look dude there's that Italian kid. He's wearing that damn blue shirt again."

Duder 2: "Yea man he's got the worst repeat wardrobe I've ever seen."

Duder 1: "Hey blue shirt kid! Come here, I got some Spanish homework I need help with."

10👍 3👎

nagging ammunition

Failures and let downs in your buddy's life which, if mentioned in front of his mother, would produce a nagging tirade.

Duder 1: "So Mrs. G, I heard your son dropped out of college?"

Mrs. G: "Don't even get me started! How come your girlfriend is getting her second degree when you can't even get one? Don't you know how important an education is?"

Duder 2: "Yes, mom I do. Thanks a lot you dick. Like I don't hear that enough without your help."

Duder 1: "I'd just like to say thank you to your life for providing me so much nagging ammunition."

17👍 7👎

Gibbit Gibbit

A term used when talking about sexual intercourse. It's most effective when paired with pelvic thrusting and pumping of the arms.

Dude 1: "Hey man did you gibbit gibbit that girl last night?" (while thrusting pelvis and pumping arms)

Dude 2: "Hell yeah that ass was juicy!"

27👍 10👎

tardy circumcision

The removal of a male's foreskin at a very late time in his life. Most common late circumcisions occur when a foreign male comes to the US in his teens and wants to be circumsized to fit in with all the other dudes.

Duder: "What's going on man? How was your weekend?"

Foreigner: "Oh man you won't believe this. I got circumsized."

Duder: "Say what!?! Dude you're 14! Didn't that shit hurt?"

Foreigner: "Yea man, you have no idea. It is still killing me."

Duder: "That is one tardy circumcision for sure!"

12👍 2👎