South Park

My religion.

Stan: You know, somebody once said, “Don’t try to be a great man, just be a man.”
Jesus: Who said that?
Stan: You did, Jesus.
Jesus: You’re right, Stan. Thank you, boys!
Kyle: Wow, did he say that in the Bible?
Stan: Nah, I saw it on Star Trek.

Stan: Dude, we don’t have any talent.
Cartman: That didn’t stop any of the other boy bands, damn it!

Mr. Garrison: Well, your moms are just upset. They’re probably all on their periods or something.
Gregory: Mr. Garrison, Wendy and I think that was a sexist statement.
Mr. Garrison: Well, I’m sorry, Wendy. But I just don’t trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn’t die.

Bebe: Mom, what's six times eight?
Bebe's mom: Oh, sweetie, those are two completely different numbers.

Cartman: Okay, Token, give me a sweet bass line.
Token: I don't know how to play the bass.
Cartman: Token, how many times do we have to go through this? You're black. You can play bass.

Token: I'm getting sick of your stereotypes.
Cartman: Get as sick as you want, just give me a goddamn bass line!
Token: Plays the bass expertly Oh, goddammit.

south park rocks :)

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Delaware

The most boring state in America. Our representative in Congress didn't want to sign the Declaration of Independence, it has no culture, no history, and nothing of importance goes on here. The only good things are Wawa. And tax free shopping. That's it. Thank God we were the first state, otherwise we would only be known for.....nothing. THAT'S THE FREAKING POINT. There is NOTHING here. It's ALL a suburb, the highest point is lower than the lowest point in Colorado, we are at least three hours away from ANYTHING, you pay at least $20 in gas before you get ANYWHERE, and I've been wasting my life here!

Dela-WHERE?
Exactly. NO WHERE.

Oh, it's Saturday! What to do in DELAWARE? OH, I know! Let's go see where Macy's drops off it's damaged merchandise!! WOOO HOOO!!

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