My Warner

The one guy you can never say with honesty that you are over. He was hot, he offed you for a hosebeast, he definitely has regrets—or should. You showed up and shoved off because men can’t treat us that way and live. Nonetheless, he is a part of your romantic timeline. As Elle Woods dismisses her case of infatuation at the end of Legally Blond, bonehead doesn’t get a bone.

Sandy: when you gonna date again

Candy: Sick of this sht
Sandy: You got to move on from the dream
Candy: it’s been over so over. He was My Warner but he can get pyroney
Sandy: Your ex?
Candy: No, that was My Fisher Stevens

d4p

dust for prince

when a man is so highly sought after by hordes of women that he must refrain from engaging in social media at all or showing up at events women totally want him at. his previous account(s) are frozen in time OR he has only the most basic business account OR he has literally NOTHING online through which women can lurk or send DMs or nudes. he could go to the best parties and be fawned all over but he’s nowhere.

women have searched high and low “dusted for prints” like the FBI but are left with nothing, nothing to breathe on, swoon over, follow, lurk, chase, try to impress, fight over, create drama or snap his hot shirtless self

It’s really frustrating but honestly it’s 4tb

for the best

girl1: where is that hot guy from the play, I can’t find him anywhere on social media?!
girl2: seriously, this is the casting call party I thought he might finally show
girl3: if you guys know where he is you better spill
girl4: trust me if I knew I’d tell you

girl5: hags it’s d4p, literally this guy is off the grid

blap

used mainly by valley girl wannabes or previouslys at the end of a sentence; applies in-your-face emphasis; connotes finality; similar to and interchangeable with, ‘and done’
a shortened quip of a word used in place of ‘you got served’ or ‘you just got handed your own ass’.

Phrase accompanied by an air check or air period (as in punctuation) pointing hand gesture, such as would be used by white chicks (the movie) types, like ‘period’ or ‘check the box’ said with a sassy face.

Implies attitude and sass. Means the previous statement is not arguable, or the previous statement was a great burn, or you totally just lost an argument no question, or can’t dispute the accomplishment or flex.

bitchy friend: (sarcastically, while disapproving of an outfit): hmm, wish I thought of that color scheme
sassy person: um, you already did, borrowed it from your rack from last season, and blap

guy: hah, if you came to see me sorry, I’m with *dumb bitch*
girl: actually not, your cousin *so hot* is meeting me here, blap

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ok Jodeci

when bands or DJs try way too hard and try to be all cool and arrogant and above everyone and think they came up with this novel idea to use parts of each of their names as their group name.

vocalist: ok guys we can use the “LO” from my name Louis
bassist: fine, use the end piece of my last name “Berthelot”

Al the drummer: ok Jodeci whatevs
Sergio the guitarist: ...maybe use the “SER” ??!!
manager: you guys we have something really novel here, I think we could go with it

trash

when you are so in love with this guy, he’s beautiful, talented you dream about him, he’s like the king of everything you ever wanted and he makes you think you have a chance oh wow

the women he wants and gets with

narrator: he could be with any one he wanted, including the princess herself yet he arrived alone

audience: he wants trash
narrator: ...then the princess arrived glowing with gems and dripping with beauty and the possibility of love
audience: go home he wants trash

25👍 4👎