perfect turd

A perfect turd is a turd produced in one push that is a solid column of shit that rests on the bottom of the toilet bowl with its top poking out above the water line.

Jack laid a perfect turd that when he checked his performance was standing up in the bowl looking back up at him

preferred turd

The preferred turd is the least worst option from a horrible selection.

Bob's could decide who his preferred turd is when answering the question "Who's your favourite between Stalin and Hitler"