überstraight

A 0 K man (zero on the Kinsey scale).

A man who really likes women and has developed a taste and appreciation for all of their diversity in sizes and other physical features from many races.

A man who feels zero attraction/repulsion whatsoever for other men.

A real man who has no problems having gay friends and supporting their human rights. So straight that he's never intimidated or offended if a gay man hits on him or tries to seduce him; he will decline politely and keep the friendship.

Tom: -I'm sorry I tried to kiss you-

Jorge: -I'd never even noticed you liked me in that way-

Tom: -You don't even have a gay vibe, I should've known better-

Jorge: -Come on now don't get so serious and apologetic, never mind that, life goes on-

Tom: -Awesome, lets grab a beer or have breakfast... some time?...-

Jorge: -Sure! like we always do, relax dude-

Tom: -Haha, you're so cool, you're überstraight -

Jorge: -Hey thanks, I guess-

shitcasm

The bastard cousin of sarcasm. Probably the incestuous brother in law of irony.
It's like sarcasm but for sharp shitty comments that prey-on or highlight-a subject's precarious situation or characteristic.

Shitcasm is "a sharp, bitter, or cutting mockery or remark; a bitter gibe or taunt". Shitcasm may not employ ambivalence, it goes straight to the point where it hurts. The only ironic thing here might be the subject's situation, though not necessarily. Even Wikipedia says so.

Ex.: "Are you okay mate? How's that gaping wound and the sword protruding from your back coming along? Don't worry, you look like a million fucking bucks."

"I didn't know you had taken shitcasm 101 with professor Sheiße PhD"