Fucktard Loser

Fucktard Loser is a narcissistic cyberwhore in constant need of adoration, likability and sex. He’s the funniest most charismatic guy at a party or bar.

A Fucktard Loser believes he is “king of the world”, that the world owes him, and fascinated solely with himself and his dick, like a Trump, ie. The Cheeto. Hobbies include himself, other people’s money, mooching, sex, porn, strip clubs, competition level alcohol consumption, watching sports or cooking shows, and trying to convince his Girl into doing a threesome. Often not employed, he’s an epic con artist with good looks, hypnotic charm, epically honed manipulative tactics, and is competition level 10 skilled liar.

Fucktard Loser is usually supported by their Girl. They do jack shit around the house. Have no qualms about jacking off in bed participating in a Skype cybersext with a nude troll he snatched off Plenty of Fucks. While his girl is sleeping right next to him then wakes up and catches him.

A Fucktard Loser is a manwhore addicted to cyberporn, sexting and prone to hookups with Plenty of Fucks skanks, such as a five minute blowjob in the parking lot where the cyberskank works, during her lunch break. He believes in “honesty”, tells his girlfriend, and says it’s all okay because he was honest. Guilt has no meaning for Fucktard Loser.

Fucktard Loser guy will have no job no phone no money and often also is a Lovesick Alcoholic.

1. “You won’t believe this. The Fucktard Loser took my keys and debit card out of my purse while I was asleep. He said he couldn’t sleep and went out for a beer. He brought home some skank to do a threesome. I was so pissed, I told her to leave but she couldn’t. He was too drunk to drive and lost my keys somewhere in the car or the house. I made her sleep on the couch downstairs and caught him stark naked fucking her. TWICE!”

2. “Jesus Christ what a Fucktard Loser. You’ve gotta get him out.”

Love Sick

Love Sick (see also Unrequited Love)...best friends of the opposite sex who have known each other for decades but never got their crap together at the same time to “be together”. They know literally everything about each other, and have hooked up over the years (not to be confused with “friends with bennies”). They are each other’s “person”.

Love Sick becomes “Love Sick” when one party (often the guy) suddenly realizes he totally fucked up and didn’t marry their “person”, but married “bat shit crazy” instead.

Despite both parties now able to be together, the Love Sick person will have an epically dumbass reason why he cannot (the bat shit crazy wife he divorced but she won’t move out).

Love Sick usually gets totally honest with bat shit crazy wife, who becomes obsessed with “the girl”, making life a living hell for Love Sick with constant fights.

Love Sick becomes OCD with unrelenting thoughts about his “person”, interfering with his ability to do his job. Refer to movie AIRPLANE. Can’t land a plane.

“Why did I get married? I’m so love sick for this chick, dude! I can’t get her out of my head! “

“She’s single. You’re DIVORCED but won’t leave your bat shit crazy EX WIFE! Get your shit together!”

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Big Cheeto

Big Cheeto - President 45 also known as Trump, best identifies by his hallmark unnaturally orange fake bake/spray tan.

“Omg look at this! Trump is ORANGE”

“That Big Cheeto needs to lay off the fake bake. Just think. There’s a tanning bed in The White House. How embarrassing.”

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Oompa Loompa

Oompa Loompa - the whimsical “little people” with orange hued skin in The Wizard of Oz. The polar opposite of which is The Big Cheeto (aka President 45 otherwise known as Trump).

“That Oompa Loompa needs to get over this stupid wall and go find a pumpkin patch somewhere to rule over!”

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