as right as my jerk hand

Confirmation/acceptance of something, referring to the speakers handedness for masturbation.

Brenda: You said we’re meeting at 1:30 for coffee, right?
Samuel: You’d be as right as my jerk hand with that.

Does a duck with a boner drag weeds

Canadian slang for “of course” or “most definitely”, usually used in a sarcastic manner to respond to a question. See: Does a bear shit in the woods?

Dan: You going to the hockey game tonight?
Kevin: Does a duck with a boner drag weeds?

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