large and in charge

Obnoxious, overweight, and loud women, most frequently heard screaming at their small children over trivialities in public places (the grocery store, fast food restaurants, school events, etc.).

3 year old: “mom… look… dog snack”
Large and in charge: “KEEP YOUR HAND IN THE *^# SHOPPING CART BEFORE I KNOCK YOU INTO THE %&@ MEAT SECTION YOU LITTLE ^*(@!!!!

664👍 157👎

one putt

Task that is expected to be relatively easy but, if not done properly, can turn into an embarrassing nightmare.

CBS executives: “Here Dan – here’s the latest on the Bush Air National Guard story. The docs show Bush’s superiors thought he was a schmuck, too. This is a one putt story if I’ve ever seen one – run it tonight at 6.”

312👍 39👎

urine balls

That nasty collection of plastic balls at the playgrounds of fast food restaurants across this great country of ours. Those balls aren't wet because it rained, it's because some kid peed in the play structure.

Child: “Mom, can I go play? I’m done with my happy meal.”
Mom: “Yes, just be sure to stay out of the urine balls.”

398👍 33👎