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diet-lingus

Cunnilingus performed on a woman who is trying to reduce her weight, size, or fatness and which is performed for the purpose of replacing her hunger with sexual ecstasy, or to create an inextricable psychological association between the two.

He loved to perform diet-lingus on her; he loved the salty taste of her vulva (especially when she orgasmed) and he loved to gaze through the valleys between her hip bones and between her tiny breast-buds to her lean face - eyes closed and mouth open - as she moaned with pleasure. He was aroused by the zeal with which she pursued her ultra-slim figure and would have felt guilty if he had encouraged her in the extremes she endured to maintain her sylphic shape. She had formed an inextricable psychological association between being thin (or losing weight) and sexuality and would not let him pleasure her sexually unless she had exceeded her weight-loss goals - much as he desired to pleasure her all the time.

When she felt like she could no longer restrain herself from eating, she would have her boyfriend perform diet-lingus on her until she orgasmed and her hunger subsided. In addition to enjoying cunnilingus generally and diet-lingus in particular, her boyfriend was awed by her ultra-slim figure, but was tinged with guilt that he was playing a part in something that was likely damaging her health. That she insisted that he perform diet-lingus and would not let him have any kind of sex with her unless she exceeded her super-human weight-loss goals let him feel, morally, as if he were not culpable for her starvation.

by wouldaben December 12, 2010

4πŸ‘ 6πŸ‘Ž


shit crumbs

Those brown specks on the bathroom floor around the toilet.

Those aren't little pieces of milk chocolate on your bathroom floor. Them is shit crumbs!

by wouldaben January 9, 2011

4πŸ‘ 7πŸ‘Ž


diet sex

Sex with a woman who is trying to reduce her weight, size, or fatness and which is performed for the purpose of replacing her hunger with sexual ecstasy, or to create an inextricable psychological association between the two.

When she felt like she could no longer restrain herself from eating, she would have diet sex with her boyfriend until she orgasmed and her hunger subsided. She would only let her boyfriend have sex with her when she had exceeded her weight-loss goals. She had developed such a strong psychological association between dieting and sex that she would have an orgasm when she was hungry, or when her weight or measurements decreased.

by wouldaben December 18, 2010

5πŸ‘ 6πŸ‘Ž


beknighted

adjective used to describe people who speak as though they have royal (i.e. "knighted") authority. Important or authoritative but almost always used in a mocking or sarcastic sense.

Patient to Doctor: "I have been taking the same medications at the same dosages for the last ten years. I am not interested in paying $200 for a slip of paper that says, in your beknighted opinion, that I can continue to take them. That is simply the doctor's monopoly taxing pharmaceutical sales."

It is Sarah Palin's beknighted conclusion that climate change is a fiction. Next she'll be telling us she's an expert in quantum computing.

by wouldaben December 17, 2010

11πŸ‘ 12πŸ‘Ž


Tampon Telegraph

a covert communication device inserted in the vagina of a secret-agent or sexy spy. The earliest models could only send an out-going message encoded by the secret-agent squeezing her vagina in Morse-code, which was then converted the kegel contractions into radio signals. The advantage of the device was that it was unlikely to be found after a thorough frisking or even a strip-search. In the event it was found, the secret-agent could merely explain that she was having her period (as the device looked like an ordinary tampon with the string serving as the antenna). An improved version of the device was later devised that could receive and convey incoming messages as well as communicating outgoing messages. The incoming message, also in Morse-code, was translated into vibrations that corresponded to the dots and dashes. While effective as a communication device, this newer version suffered from the draw-back that it tended to cause intense orgasms in the secret-agents and, as the tampon could not absorb all the natural orgasmic lubricant due to its being filled with electronic gadgetry, the orgasmic fluid would often carry the tampon-transponder out into the panties of the secret agent, and she would have to improvise a hasty trip to the lady's room to reinsert the device before she could resume communication.

The tampon telegraph was first used by super-models because spy agencies believed that the thinnest women had the tightest vaginas and would therefore be best able to squeeze the transponders with their vaginas to generate out-going messages. Unfortunately, the super-model secret-agents had sex so frequently, necessitating the removal of the tampon telegraph, that they were often out of communication, and less attractive secret agents had to be recruited.

by wouldaben December 15, 2010

2πŸ‘ 5πŸ‘Ž


diet shivers

shivers caused by a woman's coldness due to her dieting (restricting her calorie intake to lose weight and/or become thinner). Dieting causes the metabolism to slow and therefore generate less heat, causing the dieter to shiver to keep warm.

Though the night was 80 degrees Fahrenheit, the model had diet shivers because she had been fasting for two days in preparation for a photo-shoot.

by wouldaben January 6, 2011


Panty Bridge

the phenomenon on a thin woman of the waist-band of her panties being suspended between her hip bones without touching her concave lower abdomen. This phenomenon is best achieved when the woman is lying on her back. Panty bridges are considered attractive by many not only because they demonstrate the thinness of the woman but, when viewed from the proper angle, provide a view of the top of the woman's vulva/pubic mound.

That model is showing off how thin she is by lying down, sucking in her already tiny abdomen, and creating a panty bridge so deep that a train could drive under it.

by wouldaben December 15, 2010

14πŸ‘ 7πŸ‘Ž