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When your girlfriend is having her period, before you go down on her, you finger her vagina deep, take the blood and use it as war paint on your face before going down on her..(and do and Indian "whoop whoop" before licking her vagina)
It was that time of the month for my girl, but I could not resist doing my monthly big chief on her to profess how much I love going down on her..
When you wake up two minutes before your girlfriends alarm clock goes off, masturbate above her face, and when her alarm clock rings and she awakens, you ejaculate all over her face and say "good morning...ALARM COCK!
My boyfriend did an alarm cock on me this morning as I woke up.