yard-on

n. An extra large hard-on achieved when particularly aroused, although still probably smaller then 3 feet.

His dick was so big, He had a yard-on

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lonk

v. German. To shit oneself on orgasm.

Dude 1: So you bang that chick last night?
Dude 2: I don't wanna talk about it.
Dude 1: Why?
Dude 2: It's been awhile since I been with someone and I was getting off and when I came, I instantly shit my self and all over my bed!
Dude 1: You F@cking Lonked!!

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putting toothpaste back in the tube

sim. Descriptive of the difficulties encountered when attempting sexual congress whilst less than fully erect. also: Thumbing in a slacky, playing snooker with string, pushing a marshmallow in a money box.

After I saw her face it was like putting toothpaste back in the tube.

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moses effect

n. The effect a seat belt or bag strap has on a ladys tits.

Jeff: Did you see those tits there were parted like the red sea?
Roy: Some kind of Moses effect.

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pisticuffs

n. A comical, drunken attempt at combat.

Those two blokes at the bar got into some pisticuffs.