Celiac's Disease

An autoimmune disorder that affects upwards of 17 people, with 98% cases occurring in or near affluent, well-to-do, upper-class suburban areas. Causes sufferers to experience symptoms such as:

•whining,

•annoying the people around you who work for a living,
•cramping,

•rash,

•saying "I can't have gluten" until people want to punch you for it
•Hallucinations of having an actual disease
•Shopping at Trader Joe's, unnecessarily
•shifting political views towards the left

Celiac's has never been documented in white-collar or homeless populations, and is mainly self-diagnosed, therefore, very little is known about it.

Tommy: "I bought some donuts!"
Kate: "Do they have gluten? Abby can't have them if they have gluten, she has Celiac's Disease."
Tommy: "The fuck she does."

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