zombie survivalism

The theory that with good preparation, you can defend yourself and live through the zombie apocalypse. Proponents may take concrete steps to be ready by installing extra security around the home, stockpiling provisions, plus purchasing firearms and four-wheel-drive vehicles.

Teen son: "Dad, can we remove the stairs in our house? Zombies can't climb."

Father: "You must've been reading that book on zombie survivalism. Guess what...I found it in the humor section at the book store, not even science fiction."

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charge buddy

A friend, family member or co-worker with whom you share a charger for an electronic device.

Worker 1: "Since we have the same model of smartphone, can we share the same charger?"

Worker 2: "Yeah, so you'll be my charge buddy."

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spitting tacks

Verbal hostility. Saying things that are very hurtful and painful. Similar to verbal punches.

My mother in law was spitting tacks for 24 hours straight.

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sleep aisle

The location for over-the-counter sleep aids in a supermarket, or big-box or drug store.

Shopper: "Can you help me? I haven't had a good night's rest for days."

Store clerk: "Try the sleep aisle. Near the pharmacy, aisle 26."

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SNF

Abbreviation for skilled nursing facility used by healthcare professionals. An onomatopoeia that evokes the odor of stale urine found in nursing homes.

Doctor to social worker: "This patient will need to be referred to a SNF."

"We visited grandma in the old folks home. After taking one step inside and one sniff, I knew why the social worker called it a SNF."

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panties off

(adjective). A woman's sexual excitement used to describe something. What your girl does when she loves something.

That panties off hit was nominated for multiple awards.

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sneeze guard

Glass or plastic panels in buffet restaurants that prevent nasal and oral excretions from being deposited in the food. The sneeze guard prevents the spread of disease.

The food at the dinner party was delicious, but there were no sneeze guards.

I noticed a long strand of hair dangling down from under the sneeze guard. Obviously, a short person ducked under it to reach for the food.

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