husband faker

A husband who feigns incompetence in performing household tasks in order to be excused from having to do them. Examples include feigning an inability to vacuum, purposefully showing confusion in trying to locate items in the kitchen, totally avoiding and showing inability to do laundry, etc.

Jack: "I'm a husband faker. To get out of housework, I pretended to not know how to vacuum, cook or do the laundry. Now my wife does everything."

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credit card denied

When you go to purchase something with a credit card, and you're notified that it's not going through. Usually due to an expired card or you're over the limit.

Waitress: "Sorry sir. Credit card denied."

Diner: "Oh, crap."

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clutch af

Something great happen at right time

“That three pointer at the buzzer was clutch af”

Mindy: “lol i found your sunglasses at the pool here you go”
Mork: “clutch af thank you”

TV light

Ambient light from the television that is used to dimly illuminate a room or dwelling. The sound can be on or off.

I flicked on the TV light, hit mute and fell asleep on the couch.

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Soup People

The large corporations that manufacture the liquid food that is sold to the working classes, and given away to the desolate. Well known companies include Campbell's and Progresso.

I volunteered at the homeless pantry where they told me to put six cans of food in each box. A lot of it was from the Soup People."

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snoozenastics

(noun). Snoozenastics is the practice of physical and mental activity during the time between snooze alarms while laying in bed in the morning. Physical activity may include breathing exercises, muscle stretching, and isometric exercises. Mental activity may include reflection and introspection on one's life, self-analysis of one's dreams (if any) the night before, and preparation for work or other activities in the day ahead. For the purist, the individual would be naked (under the covers).

"i just finished a nine-minute session of snoozenastics. Now I will take a shower, and get ready to go to work."

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I get that

Statement made by someone who claims to understand a specific problem or issue brought up by others. Conveys active listening and concern.

I know exactly what you're talking about. I get that. I have some ideas on how to fix it.

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