Random
Source Code

john kerry

1) v. to waffle or equivocate
2) n. an action of such
3) n. a person who does this, for instance, Wembley would be the John Kerry of fraggles.

1) Husband: Hmmmm... Heinz Ketchup...or Hunts Catsup...ketchup...catsup...ketch...
Wife: Quit john kerrying and pick a damn condiment already!
2) Brett was so convinced that Lacey was the one, but then pulled a john kerry and ran to Heather.

by your dog March 31, 2008

66πŸ‘ 145πŸ‘Ž


kelly

1. the office ditz
2. a brunette or redhead that acts like a blonde

1. We have a new sales rep that got tranferred from Utah and Kelly asked him if he spoke Mormon.
2. Vanessa Hudgens, Drew Barrymore, and almost every woman that's been on The View are kellys.

by your dog March 13, 2008

324πŸ‘ 505πŸ‘Ž


rocky mountain high

Rocky Mountain High, contrary to popular belief, is not a feeling of euphoria induced by living in Colorado. It is actually a chemical-induced haze from massive THC exposure on the University of Colorado campus, which is coincidentally located in Boulder, Colorado. The methods by which Rocky Mountain High (RMH from here on to save time) are not fully known, however there are several theories as to how this occurs. This theory suggests that a combination of a lower partial pressure of oxygen due to elevation, an enormous amount of ethanol in the area, and the unsanitary conditions brought on by university students result in higher vulnerability to the effects of THC. RMH sets in, on average, within 5 minutes of entering the city limits of Boulder. Some PhD-wielding experts disagree with this theory. However, they are all suspected to be under the effects of RMH and so their theories will not be listed here. Another theory is that these experts are on crack. Even though RMH has been long known to the denizens of Colorado, it has surprisingly avoided the notice of the medical community, and is first documented in the popular John Denver song of the same name. People stricken with this condition display a pathological love of the beauty of the rocky mountains, including but not limited to climbing up trees to protect loggers, having multiple orgasms when seeing one of the many spectacular sunsets. The Rocky Mountains being highly addictive, all people who are living within its boundaries become instant addicts, and this sadly includes some cuddly and not-so-cuddly furry animals. Animals which are affected by this addiction will often cease eating and die of starvation, lest they consume the blood and meat of another creature. It is believed that RMH lead to the evolution of wolves and carnivorous rabbits. Symptoms of RMH include dizziness, nausea, vomiting, seeing fire raining in the sky, talking to God and hearing a casual reply, sharing beer, taking shots, and hazy vision. These symptoms, if left unchecked, can escalate to headache, stumbling, blindness, hazy vision of the victim becoming visible, unconsciousness and fraternity membership.

The shadow from the starlight is softer than a lullabye...Rocky Mountain high.

by your dog April 12, 2008

28πŸ‘ 14πŸ‘Ž


chonga

Those girls in Florida that take makeup tips from Vampira and fashion tips from Kelly Bundy. By 15 they are the illegitimate mothers of 5 different kids by 5 different deadbeat underachieving papi chulos, and they can be seen frequenting the Mall of the Americas, in line at the welfare office, or feeding their babies Cheetohs and Budweiser. They're called cholas/cholitas in California, Chavettes in England, Neds in Scotland and Skangers in Ireland.

You see that chonga over there, Candy? The hospital said her baby Tuffy's brain was 80% formed, but Candy figured that was pretty good because 80% is like a B- and that's better than anything she ever got on before she had Tuffy.

by your dog March 25, 2008

54πŸ‘ 30πŸ‘Ž


maggie

A fair Irish lass, as heard in the title of every other Irish folk song e.g. "Maggie In The Wood", "Drowsey Maggie", "When You And I Were Young, Maggie", etc.

American burnout: Dang, check out that maggie at the counter over there she fine...if I was 20 years younger I would so hit that...
Maggie: Téigh trasna ort féin!

by your dog March 29, 2008

596πŸ‘ 349πŸ‘Ž


guinea pig

A guinea pig is a tube with a brain. Stuff goes into this tube at one end and comes out of the other. The purpose of the brain is to cause the tube to find more stuff to eat. Just underneath the brain, near the feet, is a squeaking muscle shaped like a kidney bean. If the brain thinks, even just for a second, that there is the remotest possibility of food, anywhere, within a fifty mile radius, then it sends a signal to the squeaking muscle, which then squeaks. Squeaks can also be elicited by tissues, your homework, feathers, and the rustling of plastic bags, all of which are incredibly delicious to the guinea pig.

I'm a guinea pig, big and chubby...what can I eat? Hay and pellets, fruits & veggies, Vitamin C!

by your dog March 31, 2008

754πŸ‘ 133πŸ‘Ž


Shingles

An awesome dance that is danced in Hawaii commonly danced by females with pink grass skirts.
you move your hips, and wave your arms in a random ass way.

"hey Lets go do the Shingles on the dance floor.

by your dog April 14, 2014

12πŸ‘ 10πŸ‘Ž