Pleasure Calendar

A pleasure calendar is similar to an advent calendar, in the sense that each day during the run-up to Christmas, the person to whom the calendar belongs will open a door with a number that corresponds with the date. Only, unlike an advent calendar, the pleasure calendar is commonly given between couples as a way to treat the other person with acts of intimacy or sexual relations. One person will buy the calendar and write down small treats for their partner on paper (e.g. shoulder massage, bathe together, cuddle), which they will place inside the calendar. Then, when the person who owns the calendar opens the door for that day, they will take out the slip of paper and are able to use that piece of paper as a coupon of some sort. They can either choose to use it on the day they receive it, or save up their 'coupons' and use multiple in one day.

(Pleasure calendars are hand-made, not available in stores. Those who give them as gifts will either buy an advent calendar and replace the chocolate with paper slips, buy a blank calendar that allows them to insert whatever they wish, or make the whole thing from scratch.)

Example of things you might find written in a pleasure calendar:
- 'Partner will cook dinner'
- 'Cuddle on couch'
- 'Shoulder massage'
- 'Take a bath together'

Example of a pleasure calendar being given:
Nate: "Baby, I bought you a pleasure calendar."
Roxy: "Wow, thanks!"
December 1st - Roxy opens the calendar to find a slip of paper that reads 'Cuddle session'

Fucked

Brexit. That's literally all I have to say as a definition.

Teacher: "Now, who knows what Brexit is?"
Student: "I do! Brexit is fucked!"

21👍 6👎

Joobs

Kim Namjoon's pecks/nipples. The exact same thing as namtiddies

Jack (a BTS fanboy, Namjoon-biased) - "Dude, did you see the joobs when we went to see BTS last week?"
Alex (a BTS fanboy, another member-biased) - "What the f*** are joobs?"
Jack - "You know, the namtiddies!"
Alex - "Oh, they were hot!"

38👍 13👎

Forty-three

The whole number between forty-two and forty-four.

Person 1: "What is forty-three?"
Person 2: "How old your mum is."

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When you can't believe something so you commit keyboard head smash

Keyboard smash go Smrvjeegkahskqnqkjd8cjndnqha