Alfie is a clapped little boy who will sit in the shower n never pull a girl in his life. He think hes a full in roadman but in fact heβs a big fat pussy, who will do anything in the world for attention. He has no friends bc no on one actually likes him n people just pretend :)
9π 16π
the most beautiful and talented person you have ever met. though she'll deny it, she knows she's frigging amazing.
she spends her time on twitter retweeting feminist jokes and fighting about gender roles, because no matter what alfie believes everyone should be treated equal.
fren #1: see alfie over there?
fren #2: oh hell yeah, alfie's the prettiest girl in the room.
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scum of the earth, cannot get a job and has to resort to potwashing at a lowly hotel, demoralising!!
also is nesh, as shadows scare the shit out of him, literally
as a result often walks around with large brown stains in his undercrackers.
people of this variety are often inbred and find old peoples homes somewhat arousing.
OMG i cant belive that ben, what an alfie... neshing it at sutton hall!!!
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Gets called a model by crazy girls.
Brown hair with eyes that change colour.
Lots of siblings.
"Wow Alfie you look like a model"
3π 9π
A british youtuber with a crooked smile, a heart of gold and a whole lot of handsome.
Everyone everywhere: "My perfect man would be Alfie Deyes. Nice, funny, handsome, and british."
677π 126π