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Advent Calendar

If you are an advent calendar it means you are something different everyday, sometimes you might be sweet, sometimes you might be savory.

Dude! Why are you being such an advent calendar today! Ugh! Fuck you!

by F******Piggy December 3, 2020


Tinder Advent Calendar

Swiping psychotically through Tinder after dinner each night of the holidays to kill time and ensure matches.

Alone in quarantine or bored stiff on their parents' couch, young singles everywhere swipe to the end of their daily allowance, reaping a heinous daily match with a past-prime hometown hottie, or the waiter from the cafe downstairs you've never seen with his mask off. Tinder Advent Calendar matches offer all the short-lived indulgence of the advent chocolates of childhood, but with the added risk of a dick pic.

Harriet's Tinder Advent Calendar currently features Abs Joe from Chem, now a year-round receptionist, and Cute Window Guy who makes ugly infographics on his Instagram.

by daltonjfk December 17, 2020


calendar dressers

People who only dress according to the calendar not the actual weather.

There are loads of calendar dressers among cyclists - what do they wear when it gets really cold?

by viennabeo November 12, 2013


Calendar Mood

In the mood to be productive, whilst sitting in a chair doing nothing

I'm really in a calendar mood right now!

by Schnorppe October 1, 2023


Door-to-Door Calendar Salesman

Initially created to avoid having to say the term "groomer" (or relative terms such as "grooming") aloud when in the company of people, or in a place where you'd rather not have people hear you talking of such a topic. Especially when it comes to discussing the topic to someone who is easily triggered by the initial subject.

"Door-to-Door Calendar Salesman" is a code-term to use in place of a "child groomer."

"Selling calendars" means to commit the act of grooming.
"Going door to door" means they're searching for minors to groom.
"Asking a minor for calendars or photos of their calendars" means they're asking a minor for illegal sexual favours, or for sexually explicit photos of said minor.

Person A: "Have you heard that Onision has been going door to door and selling calendars?"
Person B: "What the fuck is up with that? Selling calendars...He should go to prison for it."

by horsehorsehorse December 25, 2021


check his calendar

To check his sanity.

"Can you imagine if Walter Alston wore a football helmet during the baseball game? They would truck him away, man. 'Get him out of the dugout, man. Check his calendar!'"
-George Carlin, An Evening With Wally Londo Featuring Bill Slazo

by indigenousprodigy May 12, 2008


crazy calendar

The official name of the calendar that mental asylum inmates, delusionists, and Qnuts follow instead of the regular calendar. The crazy calendar has the same number of days as the regular calendar, including those of leap year.

However that is the only similarity. The calendar has only 6 months instead of 12, because both the delusionals and Qnuts especially have to short of a memory span to remember the names of 12 months.

Each month has 60 days, with the exception of February which has 65 days. During a leap year, February has 66 days.

1: You know James?
2: You mean that delusional dude, who also supports Q?
1: Yah, he was saying some weird stuff like June 47th.
2: He probably is following the crazy calendar like all the over-insanes follow. Their June 47th is our December 18th.

by MST3K I like April 13, 2022