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Ever watch the show "My Name is Earl"? Well, take all the characters, multiply them by 500,000, and you got Jacksonville: the most racist, backward, inbred city of cretins in America. A NASCAR lover's utopia of mullets, beerbellies, crooked cops (see the documentary "Murder on a Sunday Morning" to know I'm not lying), and people with unforking family trees.
Jacksonville City Government is controlled by a Church/Cult/Hypocrisy center that keeps Jacksonville the badly dressed laughing stock of the other designer label Florida cities.
Full of fat chicks with supermodel attitudes. EVERY, and buddy, I mean E-V-E-R-Y girl over the age of 16 is an unwed mother. The favorite vacation spot for most inhabitants is jail. The general landscape resembles a half occupied strip mall filled with vagrants and no end in sight, but people who live there love to say that it's the hottest city in Florida (snicker).
KKK membership is mandatory to become a cop or city councilman. They have a beautiful new library that is always uncrowded, surprise, surprise.
In summary, Jacksonville, Florida is the only city that a Category 5 hurricane would actually improve.
Jacksonville, FL is a whole city populated by "Earl's" brother.
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A small town about 30 miles west of Gainesville, FL. The main attractions currently include a Subway, an old train depot now used primarily for town events, and the elementary and high schools. No one notable has yet to emerge from this town, and if you are planning to go there, advice from a resident: don't.
Person 1: Where are you from?
Person 2: Trenton.
Person 1: Trenton, New Jersey?
Person 2: No, Trenton, Florida.
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What you call a fat girl named Abby.
It's very punny.
Cory: "Look at that fat chick in the mirror over there!"
Abby: "You mean me?"
Cory: "Haha, fl-Abby."
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What idiots say when they mean AFL. Usually is a chad who loves NRL.
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A small town that has nothing but some rednecks, drunks and cows.
A town Christmas Fl
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1. Place where there is absolutely nothing to do.
2. Place where the people are rednecks and illiterate.
3. Place where if you weren't bornand raised there, don't bother trying to become a part of the town.
Having nothing is the same as living in Trenton, FL
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Bradenton FL home to where old ladies pee and shit in bags because their cocaine addicted illiterate sons don’t know how to fix their toilets and leave it to rot until it’s smells like Kamala Harris asshole and old ladies go to red lobster and ask for pots of water.
Mother:honey can you fix the toilet I really need to go
Son:yeah I’ll do it tomorrow
Mother:thank you honey.
3 months later
Mother: Whatever ima just shit in this bag till this house smells like moby dicks anal cavity
Man fuck Bradenton FL
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