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A place where students learn about a bunch of dead people that are supposedly relevant to their everyday lives.
"Why do we have to take History Class?"
"Because learning about the Roman Empire is gonna get us a job one day, duh"
44👍 6👎
something you don't show your parents and clear out daily
Mom: Son, what were you doing?
Me: Nothing...
Mom: LEMME CHECK YOUR SEARCH HISTORY
Me: NOOO
Mom: *Checks history*
Also Mom: Sees images of really bad stuff
Me: *Before mom can get to the worst part*
Mom: WHAT THE FU-
17👍 2👎
A relatively new series on Comedy Central. People are asked to get completely drunk, and when they are, tell the history of some famous person in history while it is all depicted. The characters in the skit mouth the drunk person's words as they talk, which makes the show funny and unpredictable.
"Carbons and hydrodrons and oxydrons and carbotrons. And that's molecules for ya." - Percy Julian
"Yeah the Pacific ocean! Who gives a sh*t?" - Meriwether Lewis
"Pew pew pew pew" - Billy the Kid
Drunk History is awesome!
15👍 1👎
A sex act performed often by members of Canada's high society in which maple syrup is poured generously onto the crotch of the willing female, who then mounts the face of a moose by holding onto its antlers. The Moose encouraged by the presence of the sweet syrup performs cunnilingus on the woman while the Stanley Cup is positioned below to collect the drippings. Once a sufficient volume is collected the willing male participant dips his erect phallus into the cup prior to insertion into the Moose's anus (preferably before the Moose has slurped up all the syrup). Depending upon the size of the phallus inserted into the Moose, one of two results will occur:
(1) the Moose will become agitated to some degree of insanity and attempt to buck off both the man and woman. At this point, if the couple lasts at least 8 seconds and both reach the point of orgasm, they win the Stanley Cup. This is referred to as the "Two Canucks, One Cup" Rodeo.
(2) the Moose will become aroused, and will proceed to insert itself into the female. If the female is unwilling, a suitable midget replacement will suffice.
Oh, snap! Did you see Steven Colbert and Sarah Palin do Canada's History to Bullwinkle while Rocky watched?
771👍 202👎
To prevent a snoopy mom, girlfriend, etc. from looking at your recent internet activity, one should always clear history.
Chris: Did you check out the Sasha Grey link I sent you.
Matt: She's fit bro. Thanks for the link!
Chris: Of course man, no worries. Did you use your mom's 17 inch laptop to watch it?
Matt: Sure did.
Chris: Well, I sure hope your cleared your history.
Matt: Damn, I forgot to clear history! I'm gonna get butt fucked like sasha grey when I get home!
67👍 12👎
When a person can't take the reality of the truth about a breakup and instead "rewrites" what really happened and then tells other people the story as if that's what really happened.
Josh couldn't take the fact that Kathryn dumped him for his brother. By rewriting history, he could tell everyone he dumped her.
A tool used by the lizard people to brainwash you into forgetting about their secret plan to make us all their slaves.
Don't believe what you learn in history class! That's just what the lizard people want you to believe!
42👍 7👎