i have arrived

The formal way of saying "I am cuming"

"Do you allow me to arrive Madeline?"

"Yes Fred"
"I have arrived"

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I have a dream

well you fucked up the rest of ours...

think about it for a second...

I have a dream

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I have a plan

An over abused phrase by a politician with a frankenstein-like face.

"I have a plan.... to tell you the opposite of whatever my oponent says.... then tell you my plan after I am elected."

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I have plans

Phrase used by women to indicate that they have a date with someone other than you.

Bob: So, do you wanna go catch a movie tomorrow night?
Sally: I have plans.
Bob: Oh, okay.

Bob to himself: Dammit!

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i have cheese

means to have a wedgie

I wanted to go to Fruit Salad, but I have cheese.

Can someone tell the new girl she has cheese?

i have fat

I have fat. Something a rich white person who doesn’t want to admit they are fat says.
“Dude, you need to get on the treadmill. You’re fucking fat”

“Sweetie, you need to get on the treadmill. You’re fucking fat”
“Darling, I have fat, I am CERTAINLY NOT fat!”

I have bonkers

If your parents are out. And you have the house to yourself, you have bonkers.

"I have bonkers to night so I will throw a party."
"I have bonkers come over."