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Annoying cult members whose sole purpose is to annoy people by knocking on their doors every week and asking them if they wish to be "saved". Any unfortunate victim who ACTUALLY allows them into their house will be bored to death by their endless rantings about their cult, and their hour-long prayers.
I feel proud that I no longer have to worry about Jehova's Witnesses bothering me ever since I set my dogs on two of their members last year.
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A Jehovah's Witness is a Christian. It is a type of religion. They believe in God, and Jesus. They also believe God has a name: Jehovah. That's where the name Jehovah's Witness comes from.
For more information, visit their website: JW.org
I am having a bible study with my friend Judy, the Jehovah's Witness.
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The simple definition is as the name says Jehovah's Witnesses, or witnesses of Jehovah. In the texts of scriptures and writings from Moses to John, the word YHWH appears over 6700 times. No matter what language you use, whether you translate or transliterate, YHWH's name means "He who causes to become" and it directly points to His real name, which is the same in all languages.
Jehovah"He who causes to become", has caused to become the earth, all life on earth and even a way for all our sins to be washed away through the sacrifice of his Son, Jesus Christ.
All this and what do we as humans need to do? Practice the teachings set out for us in the Bible! All countries worldwide today have laws regarding murder, rape, theft and wrong WORLDWIDE as a humans we believe these things are. If humans are "created in God's image" would we not also have the same ideas genetically coded into us? We , as humans, also know that the current world society has declined since ancient times. We have not rooted out hunger. We have not prevented wars. We have not eliminated disease.
As humans, we strive to do our own thing, find our own way.
Is it possible for a race, who were caused to become, to find their own way?
Our history speaks volumes!
Jehovah's Witnesses go door to door because they believe in their hearts and minds that humanity can be saved because Jehovah wants all his children, who he "caused to become", to live and not to die through ignorance and pride.
Wouldn't you yell at the top of your lungs if you knew that your friends and family were about to be engulfed in a horrific and terrible natural disaster?
The person at the door replies"...... insert answer here..."
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They basically solicit their faith. Such a sad religion, not believing in birthdays and all. Once you open the door to hear why your going to hell in 2671979936543 different ways, they won't stop. Try to shut the door, they'll hold it open with the convenient Holy Bible door stop.
"Hello, would you like to hear how your going to hell? Also, please read this pamphlet intitled: "101 Reasons Why Your Wrong."
"No thanks." *attempts to shut door*
"Wait!" *wedges bible between door* Please just read this!"
*Jehovah's Witness comes back during inconvenient times*
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1) People who reject the world and refuse to just get along with everyone else
2) CPS's worst nightmare
3) The biggest media nazis in the world
4) One reason not to own a home
1) Zeke: Oh wassap! Ay man, u wanna come to mah house dis weekend? We gonna go help rebuild the mosque downtown.
Victor: GUH!! HOW DARE YOU HELP OTHER RELIGIONS!
2) Operator: 911 whats your emergency?
Caller: Um yes hello?! I found this kid all beaten and bruised and and theres something taped to his back that says "you have been banished by the elders"
Operator: Probably another Jehovah's Witnesses, we will be over there right away.
3) Trey: Hey dude, you seen Devon anywhere?
Josh: I hear he got his eyes gouged out by his parents for watching Spongebob Squarepants
4) Nate: daddy there's a man with a bunch of little books outside
Chris: Shit. Nate, get the shotgun.
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Jehovah's Witnesses are normal people who follow the teachings of Jehovah and The Watchtower. It's not the religion people find hard to understand, it's just annoying that they believe everyone should become Witnesses like them.
JW: Would you like to join us for prayer this evening at the Kingdom Hall?
Guy: How about noooo!
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verb - The act of achieving orgasm so hard that you actually see the face of God.
Man, that bitch from the Kingdom Hall and I went out last night, you know the one, the Elder's daughter? Yeah, well she was sucking my dick so hard and she jammed her finger in my ass. Well, I Jehovah Witnessed right in her mouth! I thought I died and went to heaven cuz God was right there. We goin' out again tomorrow.
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