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Happy hour at a western bar or saloon that old cowboys frequent, to tell stories to everyone and no one.
My afternoon is going to be so much better if ole Rockne is down at Slopeside’s Cowboy Poetry drinking a bourbon!
Crappy Poetry can take on many forms; it is a morphologic organism that evolves alarmingly quick. The art form itself is widely debated and misunderstood; however, it is largely accepted that Crappy Poetry is either a satirical poem making fun of poems or just a poem that is written very poorly.
The leading authority on Crappy Poetry is The Crappy Poets Society. The majority of members have the opinion that poems which rhyme and make sense are less crappy then poems which do not rhyme and are random in nature.
Crappy Poetry is designed to be humorous and the authors goal is to make their audience laugh.
Joe: Here is my submission to the crappy poetry contest:
'That’s What She Said' by Joe W.
I want to ride,
But it’s so long.
My needs can’t wait.
I hate it in the back.
It hurts so bad; I want to scream!
It drives me wild.
I’m going to suck it up.
I don’t know how much longer I can last though…
I’m going to burst!
I’m so excited, but I know the ride won’t last long.
Ew, it’s all wet and it kind of smells.
How many people have ridden it before?
These are the thoughts I think as I wait in line.
Audience Member: wow, joe, that was some crappy poetry.
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- a style of poetry written or performed to emulate the dub versions of reggae music.
"When Lee Scratch Perry performs dub poetry over music, his voice comes in and out and has heavy effects placed on it."
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Shit poetry by illiterate hipsters. Everyone gets on stage and yells at you about Social Injustice.
My friend forced me to go a poetry slam. I had not before then seen such a high concentration of pretentious assholes gathered for the purpose of stoking one another's egos.
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The poetry that thrives in a culture of non-readers. Very sincere, bad poetry. Delivered in front of and given encouragement from a small group of people who are also bad poets. Slam poets think that their poetry is more powerful if they just yell it. Sincerely painful to listen to. It's bad poetry. They try very hard, but they have no idea what they're doing.
Most slam poetry could be better classified as motivational speaking or stand-up comedy.
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An increasing phenomenon in bars and cafes across the western world, where poor poets strut and fret about an open mic stage and spout doggerel about police brutality, their ex-girlfriends' mothers or the last time they got stoned. All in the same poem.
The point of a poetry slam is to shout your drivel louder than the previous contestant, while whooping your friends into a brain-dead ecstacy by throwing in staccato clusters of meaningless interior rhymes without discretion or respect to form reflecting thematic content. You must also recite your work breathlessly, hunched over your microphone and clutching your tofu-addled guts.
Invariably, poetry slams are populated by idiots and poems are full of sound and fury, signifying something only if you are part of the poetry slam clique.
"My girlfriend's mother, she's a bit of all right/Apart from her love for the fascist Right/I got stoned with her and I said, hey mother-babe/Wanna take a ride in my astrolabe/She fetched me a punch upside me chops/and said "Young man, I shall call the cops"/and they arrived and said hey you're that twat from the Poetry Slam and they hit me man and it was really heavy and like I had to eat non-organic baked beans in the cell with a papier mache fork taken from a page of the Daily Mail and had to wipe my backside with a copy of Young Conservatives' Conference Special 1987 - William Hague Edition. Wow, bummer."
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The style is characterized by a combination of heavy use of rhyme combined with a bludgeon like use of simile and metaphor.
A common and identifying feature in all Stowic poetry is the use of Anapestic tetrameter. Often used in Stowic poems with solemn themes, this often results in an unintended comic effect to the poem.
This unintentional irony is a feature which makes Stowic poetry so difficult to replicate. When consciously attempting to add both irony and a childish simplicity to a poem, the effort to which the author has gone is invariably apparent.
The origins of Gary Stow's poetry can be found, according to an interview, in The Rose That Grew from Concrete by Tupac Shakur. (Unverified)
Here is an example of stowic poetry:
Separate
Now that we are separate
And I am all alone.
I'm walking down this path
In search of a brand new home.
No love is lost between us
Because I have spiritually grown.
Forever we will be friends
And never again alone.
Stow (2006
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