Thai Massage

A very nice massage, usually given with copious amounts of oil.

Once you strip naked in front of a 17 year old thai masseus, you lay down on a bed where she proceeds to give you the best massage of your life.

Towards the end of the massage, you'll be prompted to receive a "sexy massage". At this point she'll negotiate a price with you, ranging from 12$-15$. keep in mind, this is Thailand where its perfectly legal to sleep with a 12 year old but deathly illegal to smoke marijuana.

After the negotiations are complete, you'll get the best damn fucking handjob ever.

Boyfriend: Hey babe, can you give me a Thai Massage?

Girlfriend: Gross no i wont fulfill your sick Asian fantasies..

102👍 49👎

muay thai

Despite what some people have said. Muay Thai actually uses a lot of powerful techniques. Just people who think otherwise are ignorant. They have kicks that put most martial arts TO SHAME!

I'll use my muay thai skills to kick a hole through you.

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Thai Tuck

A deceptive technique used by Thai transvestites. The act is comprised of "tucking" ones genitalia between ones legs so as to resemble the female counterpart.

Tourist #1: "I met this gorgeous girl last night at the bar."
Tourist #2: "So, did you end up banging her?"
Tourist #1: "Well, once I got her back to my place I discovered she was pulling the 'Thai tuck' all night."
Tourist #2: "So, did you end up banging him?"

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Thai-food

An extremely delicious section of the culinary world that should approched with caution and farewarning that one after eating thai food, should eat icecream to ease the pain felt thirty mintues post thai-food consumption

JoJo: hey mike lets get some thai-food
Mike: okay jo!
thirty minutes later
Jojo to mike via cell phone: hey mike?
mike: yeah?
Jojo: i should have eaten icecream..
Mike: why?
because it burns...it burns very badly...

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Muy thai

a kick boxing martial arts style used in thailand.

She knows Muy-tai,she can kick your ass

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Pad Thai

A Noodle dish from Thailand. Pad Thai is made from rice noodles, tofu, scallions, garlic, crushed peanuts, egg and sprouts fried in a wok and tossed in a sauce made with fish sauce, sugar, tamarind paste ( although, not traditionally) and rice vinegar. Vegan versions are made the same minus the egg and fish sauce. If no fish sauce is used they will use soy sauce.

Remi: "mmmm baby this pad thai is sooo good!"

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Thai shot

When you drink directly from the bottle of booze.

- "Do you need you need a shot glass?"

- "No, I'll take a Thai shot."