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How to turn urself into a chav:
1. Ditch all normal and perfectly acceptable clothes, and wear some shabby tracksuit. Oh dear, u noticed that the trousers are too small, ah well tuck 'em in ur bright yellow socks n no1 will notice.............yea rite.
2. Grab urself a baseball cap and any old chains that look sparkly....
3. Now, shove your hands in ur v. tredy tracksuit pockets and learn the chav walk- sweep each shoulder down, forwards and then upwards making an arch and drag your body along with your shoulders.
4. Now, light a cigarette and suck ur life away on it (some how thinking this is the coolest thing to do).
5. The most important thing to to learn to speak propa. this cannot be taught, like most accents im afraid you'll actually have to hang around with the miserable creatures and hope to just pick it up.
6. Finally you just hang around bus stops, Mc Donalds, Sports shops and pretend u have money to buy stuff from those shops. Walk in the middle of roads (how cum they neva actually get run ova? :( ) and just be pushed to the very fringes of respectable society and take the tremendous leap to the category- scum.
Now, my (once) friend. You have become a complete chav. You are now harder and more tough than anybody i will eva know and i give u all rites to completely ruin the lives of others. Most importantly remember....if somebody looks at u it means they're thinking of killing u, try and think of a clever remark, but don't worry it dosen't ACTUALLY have to be cleva because for you that would be impossible.....
see a chav, kill a chav.......it's a living.
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Chav: a type of person who lacks the intelligence to be able to speak or write proper english, uses words, if they are proper words such as 'blingin', 'mingin' etc
You will normally find them outside McDonalds. Their favourite hobbies: picking on anybody who has a brain, having underage sex with no protection, getting drunk, starting a fight with some random person who has done nothing to them except say "hi".
A chav can be quite easily be identified by their clothing. A Burberry (from the local market- 99p, a bargain!) cap, a Nickelson t shirt, and a Schott hoodie, with adidas tracksuit bottoms rolled into their white nike socks and wearing nike trainers. Female chavs tend to have their hair in a tight bun or ponytail witht the help of several cans of hairspray, their face will be painted in cheap makeup; layer and layers of cheap foundation, mascara and eyeliner. Chavs enjoy showing off their "bling". "Bling" often looks like chocolate coins & is costs £1.99 from Argos. It often appears in the form of over-sized, fake-gold hoop earrings. Favourite jobs of chavs: drug dealer, McDonalds worker, prostitute, page 3 'model'. Chavs are also known as: 'scum', 'idiots' and any other insult there is on this earth.
You can tell if someone is a chav or not mostly by their attitude. They think that anyone who doesn't listen to "their" music is a grunger. They think that Burberry is the height of fashion & they look down on anyone who isn't exactly like them. How to humiliate a chav: ask them to recite the alphabet.
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chav: council house and violence
"Mother what does the word chav stand for?"
"It stands for council house and violence ma lil stunna mwah mwah mwah pwincess big nips."
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A human sub-species also known as homo-inferior. They plan to conquer the world by lowering the nations IQ to single didgit numbers, like themselves. They do this by subjecting those around them to monotonus rap music and brandnames. They are braindead, almost zombie like. They are currently hatching a co-plot to ruin the English language through Abreveation and talking like they havn't got a tongue.
(phonetics) "welw den mush, init dat way den bruv! CHIKEN LAY AN EEEEG BOI!"
1526👍 483👎
From the French ‘Chave Act’ of 1217AD. In direct response to the Holy Roman Empire’s policy of over breeding among the evolutionary challenged (See ‘Missing Link), the 3 economic superpowers of Europe, (Germany, France and Britain) signed the ‘Act’ in an attempt to maintain ‘Pikey’ numbers within their states at a manageable level.
The basic premise was the rotational hosting of wars (See ‘Culls’) and distribution of ‘Social Diseases’ in order to regularly prune back numbers.
However, since 1945 the Act has fallen into disuse due to the excessive pressures of the Liberals (See STDs) and vain attempts to bring new regional partners within the Act to re-empower it have not been a success.
The net result is that levels are at an epidemic status and these bog dwelling, descendents of leper faeces are swelling out from their natural habit and invading ever social corner of the British Isles.
Get off my land, Chav. Release the hounds, Winthrop.
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A form of crotch rot or pubic lice.
Billy: "I got the chavs real bad, man."
Eric: "Just hit them with the shampoo."
Darren: "He's got a dose of the chavs."
Kevin: "Ooooh, he'll be itchy for weeks."
"Baby, I'm sorry, but I gave you chavs."
in old terms a 'yob' or a 'thug'. a perosn with no educational backroundround whatsoever. and who play music on the bus really louldy.
lifespan of a chav:
mugging people from the age of seven
first fag ten
first ever asbo twelve
first ever child thirteen upwards
chavs love to over populate the world even more by breeding from the age of thirteen
a chav is someone who does not have good taste in music and only likes bass line remixs and would not be able to give an example of a good song if their life depended on it