See, I told you so

phrase used to tell skeptics off after the fact; commonly used by Rush Limbaugh

To all you anti-war protestors: See, we told you so. Saddam no longer reigns. Get over it.

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what if i told you a story

Unreleased Shawn Mendes' song. He uploaded it to instagram centuries ago, the mendes army has been waiting for it since forever. So if someday you see twitter freaking out over Shawn actually releasing it pelase send oxygen, we'll thank you forever.

Shawn: What if i told you a story...
Mendes Army: OMG YOU NEED TO MAKE A FULL VERSION

*a eternity later*

Mendes Army: Shawn we're still waiting for what if I told you a story
Shawn:
Mendes Army: Shawn Peter Raul Mendes don't you dare...
Shawn: Hey guys!! I'm watching Harry Potter for 47238989329th time haha.

thats what i told her

similar to "thats what she said" but can be used in similar and other situations. used in situations where "thats what she said" would not make sense or wouldn't apply.

created by Chris V.

make sure you get some on your face." "thats what i told her.

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I told you I was hardcore

When your friends do not believe that you have done something crazy. When you prove them wrong, you have to say, I told you I was hardcore.

Man, I got it up the ass without any lube, I told you I was hardcore.

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That's what I told my first wife.

Much like the popular phrase "that's what she said", "that's what I told my first wife" can apply to male only references. The first known use was by Michael Thor Lengies Sept. 2012.

Perfect set ups:
"It's doesn't get any harder than this." "That's what I told my first wife."

Sarcastic:
"I always wear condoms." "That's what I told my first wife."

Out of no where:
"I've got a date at 9:00." "That's what I told my first wife."

Self degrading humor:
"I'm just not a one woman man." "Yeah, that's what I told my first wife."

Thats what he said, Thats what she said, Inuendo, Sexual,

PATRICIA I TOLD YOU NO

When that bitch you hate annoys you and you need a way to tell them to back off.

PATRICIA I TOLD YOU NO, STOP FUCKING AROUND!

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tosh told me to go back to bed

upon finishing your morning shower, exiting clean and ready to start the day you end up having to take a shit, ruining you fresh start and feeling the need to just head back to bed and screw the day

Taken from the one and only Daniel Tosh's standup

"My morning was already off to slow start then I get out of the shower and Tosh told me to go back to bed.

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