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Full tortoise

Taking all the pain and punishment and enjoying it all

Mate she is harsh, he must be going full tortoise

by Vlad bad March 14, 2023


Tortoise and Hare

When a big, beefy, silent, serious and wise guy is in love with a petite, agile, active and sunny girl, who is in love with the guy.

Normally this relations works like this: The guy (the tortoise) is the brains and brawns of the couple, and the girl (the hare) is the Public relationships Manager. She will start the 99% percent of all conversations with strangers while the tortoise hugs her from behind and hides himself behind her, in any other non-social activity, this is reversed: The tortoise would instruct the hare to climb on his back to carry her around everywhere like a human backpack, of course while constantly hugging him.

While in public the hare takes the dominant role to iniciate activities and talk to other people, this role is reversed in private: The guy takes the dominant role (sexually) and is the ones who tops. However, the tortoise still has the responsability to make sure his hare is comfortable and safe during sex. Is absolutly normal for the tortoise to eventually get his legs tired and fall off, in this case, the hare is allowed to cowgirl until climax or tiredness. In the later case, the two will just hug, kiss and rub thelselfs to eachother, while also both masturbating their partherns specifict reproductive aparatus.

Tortoise responsabilities: Teach your hare about life and make love to her.

Hare responsabilites: Keep your tortoise active with new stuff and make love to him.

"Have you seen THAT guy that pick up Anna everyday?"
"Yeah, her boyfriend. She randomly found him roaming around and decided to adopt him."
"Wait, ins't that also the same guy that in collegue only spoke with teachers, uppercuted Jerry and stabed Flynt, and still got A+ in all assignatures?"
"Yeah... i saw him on the gym too, his arms and legs are made of adamantioum or something like that."
"Yeah but ins't he kinda chubby?"
"Well Anna loves him to death, so i guess he really is one of the "good guys"."
"Yeah.. they are totally a Tortoise and Hare."

by Fgyjt May 25, 2023


joyful tortoise

nickname for Jeb Bush

The joyful tortoise lives in the state of Florida where adultery is the lowest per capita and it may be why it has the most cities that have Saint in their name.

by Coop Dupe January 14, 2020


Roman Tortoise

A version of docking in which one participant wears a condom (for safety or other reasons).

George is just getting to know Rocco and doesn't feel comfortable docking with him without a condom and prefers the Roman Tortoise method

by M-Tip November 16, 2021


Whiskey Tortoise

Flaccid, impotent male genitals that result from consuming too much alcohol (esp. whiskey or bourbon).

"He got so drunk and later, in bed, he had a total whiskey tortoise. I lied and told him that it was fine and that all that mattered was being close to him."

by Tortoisemaster July 16, 2013


tortoise pigeons

the humorous name for the fake Yeezy Boost 350 Turtle Doves

- Damn, I got scammed for the yeezys
- Shit man, you got the tortoise pigeons

by ibelongwithmemes0000 April 29, 2017


Clapped tortoise

When someone is so clapped that they look worse than a tortoise

Abbie is a clapped tortoise

by Sandleradam20 June 15, 2021