social bedtime

“Social Bedtime” when you tell everyone that you’re going to sleep for the evening therefore you’ve finished interacting by text, phone, and social media for that particular day. If, by chance, they happen to see you “online” after you’ve announced your social bedtime it would be improper etiquette for them to then comment or contact via those various social media outlets.

It’s been a long day and as it’s my social bedtime I’ll catch up with you later!

bedtime-beats

masturbating right before you go to sleep

Man, I really need to lay off the bedtime-beats

adult bedtime story

Adult version of a bedtime story, meant to help get a good night sleep.

A: Let's read an adult bedtime story tonight shall we?

B: Sure.

A: A long time ago, in a swamp far far away, there lived a lonely ogre. Then one day... Zzz...zzz...

bedtime paradox

A thing that you think of before you go to sleep that keeps you up to two in the morning, while you despise the thing that made you think it.

What happens when Pinocchio says his nose will now grow?
-Brought to you by Rayne Jenkins

"OH MIIII GOOODDDD" FRIGGING BEDTIME PARADOX