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Emergent Docking
ih-mur-juhnt dok-ing
Verb
1. The act of deficating in a urinal when the regular stalls are being occupied at the time of evacuation.
Bill: Dude, all the stalls were taken so I had to perform an emergent docking in the urinal!
Ted: Hah, it'll take 50 flushes to sink that battleship.
An urgent situation in which a bear must drop all of his plans to satisfy an important booty call.
Sorry I'm late, everyone - I had a honeypot emergency with the guy I met at the Mid-Atlantic Leather conference last night.
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noun (pl. -cies)
A serious or dangerous situation requiring immediate action which could have been anticipated weeks or months ago.
Your quick response in a soph emergency could be a waste of your time.
"You need to be here now! This bath is overflowing! It's been running all day. Someone has to turn it off."
"Sounds like a soph emergency."
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Yesterday I had a flat tire on the Trans Canada Hwy. So I eased my car over to the shoulder of the road, carefully got out of the car and opened the trunk. I took out 2 cardboard men, unfolded them and stood them at the rear of my car facing oncoming traffic. They look so life like you wouldn't believe it! They are in trench coats, exposing their nude bodies and private parts to the approaching drivers.
I started to change my tire, and to my surprise, cars started slowing down looking at my life like men. And of course, traffic started backing up. Everybody was tooting their horns and waving like crazy.
It wasn't long before a Mountie pulled up behind me. He got out of his car and started walking towards me. I could tell he was not a happy camper! "What's going on here?"
"My car has a flat tire," I said calmly.
"Well, what the hell are those obscene cardboard men doing here by the road?"
I couldn't believe that he didn't know. So I told him, "Hello-o-o-o, those are my emergency flashers."
- Do you realize that the speed limit on this highway is 75 miles an hour? You were doing close to 85!
- But you were going at the same speed, officer! Otherwise you couldn't have caught up with me!
- Yes, but I had to find out what the rush was as I didn't see any emergency flashers ...
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The porn you have stored on a mobile device. Examples include:
- laptops
- iPhones/Blackberries/Other
- a DVD in your work bag/luggage/back pack
It's there when you're travelling, on a work trip, school trip, visiting your parents' house, in the hospital, visiting your grandma's old age home. Etcetera, etcetera.
In today's modern age, one should not be stuck without access to quality porn.
Bobby, after an exhausting day at the Real Estate Conference, crashed hard in his hotel room. His conciliation was knowing that before he falls asleep, he can wank one out to the emergency porn stored on his iPhone.
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When you aren't friends with anyone in a new place (class, gym, work, church, etc.) but you know you're going to need friends for that place, you become emergency friends.
I was in gym class with all of the dumb kids so I had to become emergency friends with some girl only because she was the least annoying person there.
I wasn't friends with anyone in physics class and I made emergency friends with the guy next to me so I'd have someone to sit with at lunch.
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