crack laps

When an indoor cat runs around the house, knocking things over and going completely crazy for no reason. Usually takes place in the middle of the night when the people it owns are trying to sleep.

The only explanation for this behavior is that the cat is on crack. Just like people who are on crack, the cat behaves erratically .

I didn't sleep very well last night because Swiffer and Clorox were running crack laps around the house. I woke up to find where they had knocked over my DVD rack. That must have been the loud crash I heard.

11👍 1👎

Lap Dance

A woman moves her titties and ass all over a man, making him feel hard and excited. Sometimes she vigorously shakes her body/ass/tits.

Last night, Samantha gave Jack a lap dance. She rubbed her hot, oily ass all over him. His penis was as hard as a metal pole. He slapped her ass a few times to try and help his ass desire, but it only made his dick harder. Then, she turned around, sat on him, and shook her ass and titties all around. After that, Jack's dick was so hard and he was so excited that he needed more booty.

102👍 27👎

Take a lap

A phrase said usually when one does something that is indescribably absurd and/or uncalled. The phrase was popularized by 'Dennis Reynolds' in an episode of the cable program 'It's always sunny in Philadelphia' on the episode titled "The Gang Gives Back".

Flip Flop Kid runs up to Dennis with a soda in his hand

Dennis Reynolds: What the hell is that?

Flip Flop Kid: I don't know.

Dennis Reynolds: It's diet.

Flip Flop Kid: Oh.

Dennis Reynolds: Does it look like I need to be on a diet?

Flip Flop Kid: I don't know.

Dennis Reynolds: Terrible. Take a lap.

45👍 10👎

Lap Flaps

huge or obscurely large or awkward pussy lips. Usually getting in the way, or humors.

Tammi "Is it in?"

Bill "No, I can't find the hole because of your lap flaps"

Ron " You really going to fuck Jen?"
John " Yea why?"
Ron " Good luck. Most people cant get past her lap flaps"

87👍 24👎

Done lap

When a girls stomache DONE LAPPED over her pants.

Damn look at that girl, her stomache done lapped over her wasteline.

11👍 1👎

poop lap

Noun /po͞op/ /lap/
1. When you cant hold your poop, so you poop through someone else's legs while they are using the toilet.
2. When two people who love each other decide to become closer by sitting and shitting together.

Will and cece are poop lapping, don't go in the bathroom.

My dad was on the can, but I had to go so bad I poop lapped him.

10👍 2👎

Lap Desk

The most badass Laptop/notebook accessory. Keeps you from burning your lap or manhood (if applies). Lets everyone know you care about the sexy legs you have under your clothes. Comfy ergonomic pillow with plastic or wooden top to set stuff on. A desk for your lap!

Tom-Dude I have "toasted skin syndrome"
Kate- Idiot, you should have used a lap desk!