Harambe's Law

"You are a racist/sexist/xenophobe/homophobe/islamophobe" is Leftist code for "you are winning this argument, and I hate you for that."

The first person in a discussion to call someone Racist, Sexist, Xenophobic, or Homophobic is deemed to have automatically lost the discussion because they have admitted they have no facts or logic to support their position, and thus resort to name-calling to silence further embarrassment.

"I voted against Hillary because she is a greedy, ambitious, government drone."

"You're racist for supporting Trump!"

"Harambe's Law prevails. YOU GET NOTHING. YOU LOSE. GOOD DAY, SIR!"

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Kes’s Law

Originating on May 4, 2020, iFunny user Kes77 commented on a post about RemingtonTheMexican’s child grooming discord. Kes77 said, “stare into the bait long enough and it will stare back at you.” Immediately following this, user A_Poor_Sinner replied with “Kes’s Law.” The idea behind Kes’s Law is that eventually too much indulging in “ironic” humor, acts, and beliefs will eventually morph into those acts, humor, and beliefs becoming unironically held. What was once bait becomes reality for the user. This law ranks now with other well known laws, such as Bidoof’s Law and Garf’s Law.

“Hey man did you hear that Steve became a femboy?”
“After months of posting memes about it? Yeah.”
“Guess that’s just Kes’s Law.”

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Cousin-in-law

She or he married my cousin.

Me: She or he is my cousin-in-law.

Cat Law

Ever hear someone saying they’re “trapped” or “can’t move” because of their cat? Well, it’s simple. By cat law, you are not allowed to move if a cat is on you, no matter how small the body part is. If a cat is on you and comfortable, you cannot move. You also can’t move the cat. That is an evil act.

Don’t forget, you don’t own the cat. The cat owns you.

“Hey can you hang out today?”
“No, sorry. I’m binded by Cat Law. I can’t move man.”
“Oh dang. That’s unfortunate. Let me know when your cat moves.”
“Will do, catch you later.”

Chunky's Law

A rule that states, "I might have stolen your joke, but I said it louder and more people laughed, therefore it is my joke." First coined by the infamous Chunky.

Guy: Hey you stole my joke
Other guy: Sorry bro, Chunky's Law

Monster in-law

Either a mother in-law or father in-law who is meddlesome and purposefully lives to aggravate his son's wife or daughter's husband.
Rude, and oblivious humans who speak before they think about what they are about to say. They are ciritical of the cooking made by their son's wife, or critical of the income earned by their daughter's husband.

If there are step children involved, they usually remain friends with their children's exes, and spoil the step kids to the point that the little bastards become spoiled brats who are rude to the new step parent and destroy their property.

The worst undeserved punishment life has for innocent people with good intentions.

HUSBAND: My mother has offered to buy my ex a house for my (spoiled) daughter, because she is being picked on (imagined) by her cousins while she lives at her aunts house.
NEW WIFE:(after being nice to mother in law) Wait, you guys are not even together anymore, wtf?
HUSBAND: She is concerned about her grand daughter.
NEW WIFE: Was she concerned when your ex was cheating on you and got pregnant by the other guy? I HATE MY Monster In-law.

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Bidoof’s Law

Originating from Tumblr user “Bidoof” (a Pokémon), Bidoof’s law says that there will never be anything more joyous than reading a bad or offensive opinion online, checking the user’s profile, and finding out they are “openly and shamelessly addicted to hentai”.

“Will there be anything more timelessly funnier on Tumblr than seeing some joyless idiot asserting their stupid controversial worldviews internet toughguy style and then checking their blog and they’re just, completely openly and shamelessly addicted to hentai.” - Bidoof

“Bidoof’s Law strikes again.”

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