Mountain Hardwear

a brand of superior outdoors clothing worn by discerning and discriminating outdoors enthusiasts. Great technical design and features, great outdoors lifestyle clothing and equipment without ridiculous prices. Not yet co-opted by poseurs. Identified by a stylized nut often accompanied by the words "Mountain Hardwear" in distinctive script. Primarily carried in outdoor specialty shops such as The Trailhead in Buena Vista, Colorado.

Jess - "That's a great looking jacket. Does it keep you warm and dry? Who makes it?"

Paul - "Yes, it kept me warm and dry in Ouray. It's waterproof, breathes well, and doesn't have a bunch of useless non-functional crap on it. It's from Mountain Hardwear."

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mountain biking

making love to the earth through the use of a bike

mountain biking is what I do all day.

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Briggsback Mountain

An X-rated western film starring dwarf artist Briggsy as a gay cowboy who rides across the plains wearing only pink chaps and stetson. He is on a constant quest for cowboy ass. He lassos unfortunate lone horsemen and fistfucks them to oblivion, shouting "yee-hah" all the while.

Keep away from Briggsy's local gay bar or you'll end up with a cameo in the sequel to Briggsback Mountain.

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Bandini Mountain

A large pile of manure. Originally referred to a 100-foot tall mound at the Headquarters of the Bandini Fertilizer Company in Commerce, California.

"We're going skiing on Bandini mountain!"

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Mountain Dick

The most masculine type of crotch that exists.

The penis is:
-Long, but not too long.
-Girthy
-Straight
-Veiny, but not too veiny.

The balls are:
-Big
-Hairy
-Heavy

The pubes are:
-Abundant
-Wild
-Intense

"I wonder if girls like mountain dick..."

"What the hell is mountain dick?"

"Oh. Just imagine what a lumberjack's crotch looks like."

"HAHA. That's EXACTLY what I was thinking it was gonna be..."

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sticky mountain

The act of masturbating onto the back of a female and pulling of your pubes and sticking them to her back, where the cum acts as a glue type substance

I gave Bailey's mum a proper good sticky mountain

Mountain Chicken

GradeAUnderA told you to search for this to see the stupidest named animal and you did. Good job for ya mate u ain’t the lazy bastard we all thought u were!

Any Normal Human: Hey! Look at that frog!
Some Stupid Scientist: oMg WtF i’Ve DIsCovErEd A nEW spECieS!!! I’Ll cALl iT A moUntAIn cHiCken!! sUReLy noBodY wILl GEt conFuSeD!!
Any Normal Person:
Scientist:
Any Normal Person: *jumps out a window*

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