fly report

The kind of report management likes to collect but never actually read. The more voluminous the better.

(Based on the urban legend of a staff member who was hired without a formal job description, and was asked at the end of the month where his report was, so he started counting how many flies landed in a particular place on his office desk)

Joe Tard (manager): Jack, I need your report... It's absolutely critical that I have it for the management meeting.
Jack Jobless (staff member): Joe, it's about how many flies landed on my desk! It's just a damned fly report.
Joe Tard: I don't care, that fly report is crucial to management decisions.

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snap report

A report filled out by office staff upon returning from the snap trap. Details physical and sensual characteristics of the excretions.

I just went and snapped one.
Have you filled out a report yet?
It will be on your desk after lunch.

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report monkey

plural: report monkeys

Someone or some group responsible for reporting or "ratting-out" other people. This is done to muzzle others, or to come against others beliefs or ideas. Report Monkeys can also be used to effectively drown out or quell freedom of speech.

Report monkeys use a "report user" button, where the report monkey clicks this button to report a user to notify authorities.

"Report monkeying" is usually performed under the guise of adhering to private standards when in fact is used to manipulate and drown out the masses freedom of expression.

John: hey Dana just reported me on yahoo answers
Steve: what a fucking report monkey !

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report happy

A report happy is defined as someone who feels the need to report everything they deem unworthy of the webite, even if what they're reporting isn't against the rules. If they think it should be against the rules, they'll report it.

Example 1:
User: My friend is a pain in the butt.
Report Happy: You're going to get reported now. Profanity is against the rules.

Example 2:
User: I don't like you.
Report Happy: Reported for harassment!

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Pre-reporting

also Prereporting

The ability to report an event before it has occurred via live worldwide broadcast or through newsprint. Prereporting also involves contradictory evidence contained within the story that is being reported.

BBC on 9-11-01 engaged in pre-reporting with a newscast that World Trade Center 7 (a.k.a. the Salomon builing) had fallen while the building was still standing, and visible over the newscaster's shoulder.

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daily report

after going munber 2. to tell someone about your bowel movement. the shapes, sizes,colors, and textarity of it all.

i wanted to give pete the daily report, but he woundn't listen. i told him anyway.

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report monkey

-In IT Terminology-

An affectionate term for a report developer; especially if he/she is not involved in any aspect of the report developement process other than the actual creating (or coding) of a report.
Similar in use to code monkey and tape monkey

"Yeah, the report looks like crap right now, but I'll have the report monkey fix it up before it goes into production."

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