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The process whereby someone is has you cornered, e.g.. in a head lock, and you put your hands on their testicles and squeeze and twist, instantly releasing yourself! Not to be mixed up with the Swedish Testicle Grapple which is a sex move from the same region.
'Some guy tried to beat me up the other day but i gave him the Scandinavian Testicle Grab and he just broke down'
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A sexual stunt where a man lights his ass hairs on fire and attempts to cum before the fire reaches his butthole.
Did you hear Evan tried to pull a Scandinavian turd burner last night? Poor guy needs to carry an ice pack on his ass all day now
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The man is naked and erect, perched upon an elevated platform, such as a table, stool, or bed, while the nubile woman is face down on all fours on the ground, buttocks in the air. The man then leaps from his platform and attempts to penetrate the woman upon falling from his jump. If successful penetration is achieved, a Scandinavian Meat Missile has been performed. If penetration is not achieved, the erect penis will then be smashed against an uncomfortable surface, such as the floor or kneecap.
"Dude I messed up the Scandinavian Meat Missile last night, my dick hurts like crazy"
"Oh my God man I had the greatest Scandinavian Meat Missile last night. Hole in one"
Girl: I had the worst experience last night...something called a Scandinavian Meat Missile?...
Guy: Shut the fuck up bitch.. That shit's tight
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A fetish originating from the Viking era whereby one is voluntarily subjected to a reindeer bukkake. Norse mythology suggests that the act of undergoing a Scandinavian spray tan improved warriors’ fertility rates after returning from long and exhausting battles. Sadly the art of taming reindeer in such fashion has been lost in modern times and fetishists have resorted to undergo such procedures by males dressed up in reindeer outfits instead, with mixed fertility success being reported.
Customer: Good morning, could I book Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen, and Rudolph for a Scandinavian spray tan please?
Operator: Most certainly, which date and time did you have in mind?
The Scandinavian Cement Mixer is a very specialized form of gay sex, similar to docking. It involves two men, normally one significantly older with a large foreskin, and a sheet of poly film.
The two men stand facing each other naked on the sheet of poly, looking into each others eyes, but never smiling. It is important not to smile as per the third rule of sex, "its not gay if you don't smile". The older man then pulls his foreskin over the tip of the other man penis to achieve the dock. Each man then firmly grips the others penis and in a rhythmic stroking fashion they masturbate each other.
After each man ejaculates into the pocket created by the older mans foreskin they continue the stroking motion, thus simulating mixing the "cement" ejaculate. It is important to maintain synchronized hand motion to prevent breaking the seal of the foreskin and getting "cement" in your eye.
Once both men are content with their experience the older man must carefully remove his foreskin from the other mans penis, and releasing the "cement" ejaculate on the poly sheet.
Folding the poly up and disposing of it makes for easy clean up.
Down in Mexico a old man showed me how to preform a Scandinavian Cement Mixer, and I have been dying to try it again.
The act of putting a poop cover penis and balls on someone's face.
I gave him a Scandinavian gas mask it was great!
When a cat farts in an enclosed space, with you inside. Sorta like a Dutch Oven. Except without the blanket and with a cat instead.
My cat just gave me my first experience of a Scandinavian Gas Chamber.
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