Phantom Strain

Causes occasional pain and general weakness. A muscle strain that is regarded by doctors as insignificant, but affects you pretty severely. Usually persists for months, indefinitely, or is chronic.

I have a phantom strain in my right pec. I used to be able to bench 20 pounds more, but Doctors keep telling me nothing is wrong and that I'm fine.

Groin Strain

An injury sustained during sport activity whereby another player fouls the ball holder by yanking their penis in an effort to make them drop the ball.

The injury could also be incurred by allowing a midget to swing from the flaccid penis like they are Tarzan.

He got a groin strain when a player from the other team gave him a willy tug! It will take weeks for that groin strain to heal itself back together internally!