Jared

1. HAS A HUGE PENIS

2. GETS BITCHES TO FUCK HIM
3. RICH AS FUCK

4. KING RAGE

(Girl) "Look its Jared I wanna fuck him hard and call him daddy

6👍 2👎

Jared

An extreme otaku. Proceed with caution when approaching a Jared, as he might infect you with his otaku ways

Person 1: Hey have you seen that Jared?
Person 2: Yeah he's a real otaku.
Jared: DID SOMEONE SAY ANIME?!?!?!?!
私は不潔なオタクです!!! あなたがこれを翻訳した場合、

6👍 3👎

Jared

A metrosexual with great taste for women.
Someone who people crave the feeling of his pork sword in their mouth.
A stubborn, family orientated individual who can manipulate to fit his own agenda with ease, and no remorse.
Someone who relishes in the darkness and finds great comfort in it.

Oh s***! We're dealing with a Jared.

My hero is a complete Jared, no doubt about it.

The only type of guys I'm interested in are Jared', the rest are a##holes.

*Sigh* Why can't there be more Jared'!

6👍 3👎

Jared

He’s Jared, 19.
And he’s never fucking learned how to read.

Person 1: “Who is that dumbass?”
Person 2: “That’s Jared, 19.”

7👍 3👎

Jared

Sexy love; Hottie, I Love him SSOOO much.

I Love You Jared Lemoine, you are the most amazing person ive ever met.

221👍 197👎

Jared

Jared is laughter! He is like Noone, and definitely one of a kind! He's always looking for a good time, and never fails! He would use his very last of anything to help someone else succeed, or feel they matter. Jared is the most non judgemental person, he will leave you wanting more every time. Be careful, it's hard not to fall in love with Jared. He will understand all the mixed up parts of your soul, the darkest, lightest, and dustiest corners of your mind. He has those rock and roll eyes, and a heart of surprise.

Girl: Your nuts!
Jared: No, I'm Jared.

1👍 1👎

Jared

Once a lost and troubled soul trapped in the fourth underworld, Jared became a God to the Aztecs when mysterious life forms descended to Mictlan seeking an ancient rumored power. The citizens of Planet Z spent years traveling through different dimensions only to discover what they sought was not to be found - but created. Jared was chosen by the leader of Z. A few indulgent meanderings and shots of whiskey later, the celestial alignment cast an electric surge between Cancer and Scorpio. The surge was so poignant, tightly bound and focused that Jared became the first being to have successful intercourse with an extraterrestrial, bridging the gap between Gods and Aliens by taking on the role of Daddy: God of The Impossibly Mindblowing Orgasm. The Z leader surrendered to Jared as an object of pleasure for all eternity as an expression of gratitude for helping to create the ultimate sexual energy. Although Jared is immortal, his human form is a specimen of perfection, sexuality and divine masculinity. His generously proportioned reproductive organ was hand sculpted by Zeus with perfection in the style of a male Venus de Milo. Jared excels in all things delicious, and even his humanly procreative fluids are indicated by legend to have an intoxicating flavor as well as healing powers and a magical, iridescent glow.

I could spend forever drinking from a fountain filled by the excited expulsions of Jared.

Jared likes to get real fucked up.