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The stupid ass moms in america who preach about global warming because of huge vehicles being driven then they leave in their H2 Hummer to go get their spoiled bratty ass 'angels' from school to bring them to their after school shit and get groceries then go to their PTA meetings to chat about how they can 'make the world safer' for their overprotected children. They are obsessed with safety, censorship, and their children will never be able to survive in the real world alone because they won't know what to expect in life. These moms love to make other people miserable by telling them what to do when children are present and they act like children will forever be children and never become adults. They parent so that their kids will grow up to be christian 40 year old virgins listening to Bach and Kidz Bop and watching Barney and Telletubbies. They are the reason everything has censorship, saftey things that can't be turned off because a child MIGHT JUST MIGHT sit in the back of my screaming metal deathtrap.
Everything rated pg-13 and over, cars with t-tops, convertibles, loud engines, go fast are sinful. Music not sung by children or is not about fairy tales is the Devil. They made the government change the law so that kids have to sit in a car seat strapped down like they are in a roller coaster until they are so tall when when i was little, we could stand up in the front seat. Fucking Soccer moms took the fun, risks, and thrills out of childhood and they made our children into pussy wimps.
I drive a red rice-burning t-top firebird, listen to heavy metal, am learning German, drive fast and good, hate fast food, watch porn and violent movies, do not shelter children, and i am street smart: I am the definition of a soccer moms nightmarish encounter.
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A white woman in her 30s or 40s. She drives a a. S.U.V. b. Volvo or c. MiniVan. she drives at least 10 miles under the speed limit, and honks too much. she basically has no life other than monotiring every movement of her kids' lives. she has a My Child is an honor student at _________ Elementary School. she is ugly.
Look at Mary-Ellen. The way she cares for her kids. What a fuckin skank. stupid soccer mom.
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Whiney, annoying, bitchy women who whinge about their kids playing violent games (San Andreas is a favorite), watching violent or pornographic movies, browsing the internet and talking in slang. Bitchy bitch bitchness.
A soccer mom would post a comment on a DBZ forum that reads: My three year old would watch it if I let him. I made the mistake of having the cartoon channel on around then, NOT for dragonball Z but batman beyond which follows. The Z came on and I was appalled....not just because its violent, because Batman beyond is somewhat violent...but in Z that's all there is...fighting, that's it. No real credible plot beyond that that makes any sense. In addition, it made my three year jump up and start punching after one viewing. With batman beyond, he jumps up and pretends he's flying, or talks about the plot (why was that guy put in that school prison? How can Inque turn into liquid?)
There is no discussion of plot with z, except to ask "what is going on?".
As far as what the z stands for, since kanji doesn't have a directly analagous alphabet, I imagine that was dreamed up by the english translators.
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a usually white, overly-rich, insecure jerk that hovers over her kids like helicopter moms. she usually forces her kids to attend some afterschool activity such as soccer (duh) or ballet. her kids are "little angels" and she loves them more than anything while in real life she probably wants to punch them in the face non stop. the soccer mom's looks usually range from -10 to 6. the are usually seen wearing some ugly exercise clothes, and driving some big-ass, ugly SUV or van when the only have one or two kids. soccer moms are the main cause of ESRB, the V-Chip, iPhones, tracking devices, drunk husbands, car accidents, traffic jams, bad parking, and asshole kids. when they come into contact with you, they will seem very nice and polite, but the seccond you turn around, they will say something bad about you and be jealous. also, most of them have southern accents and live in north carolina or any redneck state.
every time i go to school, there is a swarm of ugly Chevy suburbans, ford explorers, Cadillac escalades and any other overweight car. inside these cars are angry depressed women (Soccer Mom) abusing their kids and bitching them around
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A suburban mom in her 30s or 40s who drives a giant ass SUV, drives her 2 or 3 kids to soccer practice and tapes episodes of Oprah. They enjoy singing to crappy songs in the car with their kids and eat that sh!t they have at McDonalds because their too damn lazy to cook dinner.
Dude 1: Is that your mom's SUV
Dude 2: Yeah!
Dude 1: Your mom's a soccer mom!
Dude 2: No sh!t player
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The maternal unit of preps. Most soccer moms are very proud of the fact that their kids (preps) are slaves to pop culture. They are usually content with the fact that their world is nothing but simulacra, and they have no desire to see the truth (that they're morons). They drive ungodly expensive vehicles (think: Hummer), and belong to some form of clique with other soccer moms.
Look at me! I'm a soccer mom! See my new Hummer H2? I was too stupid to negotiate on the price, so I paid $59,000 for it!
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going to go out on a limb here and claim expert status on identifying and defining soccer moms. my qualifications: grew up in california suburbs. in soccer family (mom and dad both coaches). have one child myself. am 37 years old. true, i don't drink coffee. and i live in san francisco, where, in tiny pockets, soccer moms do rear their ugly (over-highlighted) heads, but are promptly ridiculed until they crawl back into their climate-controlled SUVs and circle the city, endlessly looking for parking that can accommodate their concorde-size vehicles.
soccer moms are frightened people. threatened people. they sometimes seem smug and heedless, but everything they do is governed by feelings of inadequacy. ever read the malcolm gladwell story in the new yorker that reported that the single biggest psychographics assocated with SUV drivers were (1) being a bad driver; and (2) lack of confidence about the state of your marriage? hello, soccer mom. lacking individual ambition, they channel all their fervor into their kids' lives and accomplishments, resulting, later, in many years of therapy for said offspring, who end up deranged and oppressed by the SM's maniacal child obsession. soccer moms are unhappy people, and often conflicted about the traditional (read: regressive) gender roles they have decided to embrace. they are in too much denial to admit that they, like the rest of us, just didn't want to work outside the home anymore, so they tried to turn childrearing into a career. (not saying it isn't legitimate work, but it would be nice to get an honest explanation of the original motivation.) they are threatened by women with careers, younger women and women who struggle to balance their jobs and their kids' needs and don't want to subjugate their own needs every day of their lives (and thus become bitter, like the SMs). if you resist the trappings of soccer momdom yourself, they are threatened by you. ("how can your family get by with one car? what? it's a 9 year old mazda sedan? does it even have cup holders? or tethers? or tethered cup holders?")
not even getting into the right-wing, censorship-promoting, christian reactionary part of it all, SMs are downright dangerous for the culture. they oppose critical thought on principle. man, isn't that bad enough?
The soccer mom slammed the door of her Suburban, grabbed her no-fat mint frappacino and the twins, stuffed her Coach purse and offspring in the Bugaboo and charged into Target.
157👍 48👎