Two headed turtle

a squating position with a semi erect penis and half extruded bowel movement

I was in the woods and had two headed turtle behind a tree/ I was laying in bed and showed my two headed turtle to the ol lady

Red headed turtle

When a women has an oversized clit, that sticks out past the vagina lips

I could see she had a red headed turtle when she took off her panties.

turtle sticking it's head out

The feeling you have when it's time to take a shit and the turd is starting to poke out. Most annoying when you are far away from a bathroom.

"I've got to find a bathroom fast...I got a turtle sticking it's head out!!!

big headed turtle

Much like the big headed turtle, this term describes a big headed and small minded member of an older generation that is going extinct. The big headed turtle is a member of an older generation that has no interest in updating their knowledge of the world, only reads biased articles, belittles issues of millennials that he/she has never faced or researched, ferociously holds the baton on Facebook for insensitive propaganda, instigates and incites arguments for joy, does not know how to check sources for accuracy, and denies being racist/homophobic/sexist while supporting racist/homophobic/sexist ideals. Enjoys, coincidentally, calling others bigots while in fact being a bigot.

This big headed turtle posted a picture of millennials crying, affected by the deaths in the Florida shooting, stating that millennials only problems are "getting offended and protesting ridiculous causes."

Thank goodness big headed turtles are going extinct. One told me he isn't racist, but will not hire African Americans because of "how they get."

My big headed boss turtle inappropriately grabbed me at a company party, then told me, "Men don't get assaulted, they get complimented or fired."

asphyxiated turtle head

pronounced- ass fix ee eight ed ter tul hed, which is the state of a mans penis when attempting to pee after having been in an uncomfortably cold temperature for a range of time. Asphyxiated turtle head can even cause pain in the tip and give the sensation of still having urine that needs to be expelled.

"damn this asphyxiated turtle head! ive been forcing out drops of piss for 3 minutes!"

hit the turtle on the head

Lowering one’s guard and then striking when least expected.

Robert formed rapport by making himself a clown and then hit the turtle on the head to got the promotion.

turtle face mushroom-head

Someone you feel is the finest piece of ass on this planet. The most gorgeous girl in the world. Not a 10, 20, 100. This is the Dime of Dimes I’m talking about. Whatever you see when you close your eyes and think of perfection. This bitch is it!!

Turtle face mushroom-head

Paul: Hey mayne, you know that Melissa chick?

Greg: ...The one that be with that Giuseppe cat?

Paul: Yeah, yeah.. that broad is a total turtle face mushroom-head. Feeeewwwww-wwwweeeee

Tommy: You see that, turtle face mushroom-head. Phew. Almost made my lung collapse for real.