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A member of an increasingly growing group of moms who are neo-hippies.
They generally believe (for varying reasons) that there is something bad or less beneficial about buying mainstream products or doing other common activities in the mainstream way.
You might be a crunchy mom if you:
...bake all your own bread
...make your own jam, jelly, pickles, applesauce, etc.
...gave birth at home -- by CHOICE! (With a midwife, doula, or unassisted!)
...prefer to teach your children yourself at home instead of letting the public or private schools do it for you.
...grow your own food as much as possible, and buy the rest at farmer's markets or health food stores.
...are vegan or vegetarian.
...choose not to use birth control.
...don't wear a bra or shoes.
...don't use shampoo or soap, but instead maybe sea salt or a variety of other things.
...had your placenta chopped up for an anti-depressant pill or smoothie.
...have no television in your home -- and actually read BOOKS for entertainment!
...grind your own grain to make your own bread with (did you know that wheat looses about 90% of it's nutrients within 7 days of being ground?)
...don't cut your hair or wear pants (not going around half-naked, but wearing skirts! Silly people! Get your mind out of the gutter!)
...can add 10 more things to this list that I didn't even think of!
If it were a spectrum, on the extreme far end you would find Amish.
Mom 1: So after that HORRIBLE experience with the hospital with my first baby, I had my second one at home completely unassisted.
Mom 2: Wow! You're an even crunchier mom than I am! I thought I was pretty crunchy after giving birth at home with a midwife and doula. How many kids do you want to have? And do you plan to homeschool too?
Mom 1: I want to have as many as God blesses me with! We've never used birth control as long as we've been married! And yes! We start homeschooling Darling Daughter number one this Fall!
Mom 2: It's nice to know I'm not the only crazy crunchy mom!
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Someone on the internet, boy or girl, that believes that nothing is funny unless it's completely family friendly(Nickelodeon), and will often shake his/her finger at anyone who laughs at some crude humor over the internet. They can easily be found on YouTube, or other video sharing sites.
Person #1: LMAO! nice job dude! I laughed so hard when he started crying!
Internet Mom: Your such a bully! This is not funny at all, and if you๏ปฟ think this is, shame on you!
Person #2: Jeeze, thanks for being an Internet Mom. -_-"
20๐ 5๐
A mom who doesn't take shit from anyone. A rare breed. She makes mistakes but don't let her mistakes fool you. She is the leader of her family.
Fierce but compassionate.
Beauty but humble.
Lady in the street but freak in the sheets.
Her kids will always be her first priority. Anyone who messes with them will feel the fire. She's the one they all want. The complete package.
"She's a dragon mom, don't fuck with her."
"A dragon mom is a rare breed. You find a dragon queen, wife that bitch. Cherish her because she can never be replaced."
20๐ 7๐
An extremely offensive term for a female yuppie. She drives a mini-van or an SUV with a cell phone in one hand and a Starbucks in the other while watching a DVD player and turning around to talk to her kids in the back. She has an income large enough to vote for Hillary Clinton or some other liberal swine without worrying about having to pay the taxes, because she can shelter the money. She names her daughters Madison or Taylor or Spencer or Cassidy.
Chadwick is a soccer mom. She swears at the referee.
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a.) someone who has sex with EVERYONE.
b.) eric cartmans mom from south park
a.) girl: i heard michelle had sex with tom last night!
guy: really?! i heard she did it with amy!
girl2: what a slag, i heard she fucked a plant!
guy: yeah i know, shes such a cartman's mom!
39๐ 12๐
This phenonmenon has been around since at least the 80's. It is defined as the elongation or widenty of a mother's butt when she wears jeans/pants that are too tight, too short, or too high in the waist. One does not have to be a mom to aquire mom's butt. One does also not need to be fat to aquire mom's butt. However, there is a vast cohort of Mom's Butt sporters at youth soccer games. A true mom's butt shows a panty-line that usually is uneven due to a "wedgie". Pockets are usually too small and too high on the pants, thus, creating the mom's butt shape.
Everyone can experience mom's butt. There is a make-your-own mom's butt method that you can do at home. First put on a pair of jeans. Second, pull them up as high as you can, almost to wear they cut you. Then bend over a little and look in a mirror from behind. MOM'S BUTT!
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