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A gross superhero. If you were his wife you would never see him, that's why he is single I guess! Of course he will 'save the day' but instead of taking them down, he bites them? Wouldn't that make the bad guy immortal?! So.. uh, I guess he doesn't really save everyone? The guy has a bad .. Comedy show? Every year I guess.? He does this with his son, which is somehow not a vampire..? So.. CONGRATS YOU'RE ADOPTED!! Honestly I feel kinda bad for little Timmy, he literally saw his dad suck BLOOD out of his bully's NECK. I get it, he is a bully.. BUT JEEZE. Anyways, this character is made by Danny Gonzalez and I think Vampire Dad is weird
Jimmy: WOAH! IS THAT VAMPIRE DAD?!
Timmy: OMG!! IT IS!!!!
When your partner is having their period
Jenny is having a vampire garage sale this week, stay clear.
in the thirst for blood, a true vampire dives deep while the river is bloody
while she was on her period?? he’s vampire diving
A Vietnamese Vampire is when you give oral sex to a menstruating woman and drink the blood.
"Bro did you hear about Jimmy and Susie?"
"Nah what happened?"
"Well I heard that Jimmy Vietnamese Vampired Susie after that party last week."
Cutting into your dickhead with a razor and getting a blowjob. While she's sucking you squeeze your dick so blood shoots in her mouth. While she is stunned by all the blood, you turn her around and put your dick in her ass while screaming: 'I am Dracula, bow before me, bitch!'
-Hey man, in what position did you fuck her yesterday?
-I did the vampire.
-Holy shit, that's fucked up!
When your banging a chick on her period and then pull your bloody dick out and shove it in her mouth
The mayor was at Lindsey’s house and did the vampire on her while her convict husband layer asleep on the sofa.
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Excitement vampires get off on sucking the excitement from another. These individuals find enjoyment from crushing the excitement of another person.
An excitement vampire is selfish, if this individual doesn’t find the particular thing exciting themselves, they will find excitement in ruining the other persons’.
I worked 6 weeks on a project proposal and it was approved! I told my friends that I wanted to celebrate with drinks because I was excited! None of them responded to my text, or even seemed to care......thanks for being real excitement vampires guys!