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When you wake up and eat the butthole of your lover or acquaintance
Woke up and had a Breakfast Bagel this morning before the big meeting.
If you found this here are some steps
1. Go out and buy a pack of bagels and a couple avocados
2. Get a bagel, cut in half then toast
(While doing step 2 also do step 3)
3. Open a avocado and put it into a bowl then simply. . . SMASH FUCKING REPEATEDLY UNTILL NICE AND FUCKING SOFT
4. Get the bagel out of the toaster and put the smashed avocado on the bagel
5. Eat !
Read my great directions of how to make a very diverse “Avocado Bagel”
The act of diddling ones bung hole
Ashley: Excited for your date tonight?
Ben: Imma Blow her mind and finagle the bagel 🥯
Ashley: *whispers under breath* You never finagle my bagel....
The act of defecating into two plastic cups, taping them together, and mailing it to someone as a joke, the bagel boy is traditionally crafted with two red plastic cups that can found at local retailers such as Walmart, price chopper, ect. It is intentionally inscribed with black sharpie. displaying misleading promises of wealth, or grandeur encouraging the recipient to incise the mysterious artifact only for them to find that they have received the sarcophagus of a fat juicy log that awaits to be awakened from it's eternal slumber. It fills the nostrils of it's victim with a devastating, and fowl stench that will cause grievous, and potentially fatal harm.
Officer 1: The victim doesn't appear to have received any physical trauma, and medical records show that they were in good health.
Officer 2: Indeed, how peculiar. However, it does appear that the victim received a mysterious package prior to their untimely demise, it appears to contain an object constructed with two plastic cups, and some tape.
Officer 1: Wait, did you say two plastic cups, and some tape? My God, the bagel boy... it's real!
Officer 3: Hey guys, the lab test came back. It appears the victim consumed a beverage containing antifreeze.
Officer 1: BAGEL BOY!!!
An everything bagel dosed with liquid lsd.
I had eaten an "electric bagel" and was out of my mind.
A cult that hides as a company in which its employees have their toes cut off to be sacrificed to a unknown entity by the name of "Hugo". Some people who went to the main headquarters never came out. The employees would only say "They went to the bird room."
Jerald: Hey, wheres Johnny?
Joseph: I heard he went to the Birds of The Bagel headquarters.
Jerald: Well we can say bye to him.
A Chinese bagel restaurant made to sell bagels and tea.
Hello want to go to slamming bagels?