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Random
When your phone stops receiving messages in a group chat
Mike: My car crashes into shit by itself
Andy: I had to use my penis trimmers on my 6 month old beard
Walter: AC compressors, Hot Water Heaters, Condensors
Jon: Fortnite and EJ Walker for life
Nick: **total silence**
Gus: the Super Bowl was yesterday, who’s the first 36 players in next years fantasy draft?
*******
Tom: dude, I must have terrible phone AIDS. Haven’t gotten a message since yesterday
The act of your phone taking a direct hit to the ground.
My droid took a massive phone plant today after I left it on the roof of my car and drove away.
A mobile phone conversation where it sounds like the person calling you is speaking to you while under water. This can be caused by several factors:
1. The caller has a crappy phone.
2. Their carrier compresses the signal so it is the same quality as an 8 k/bit MP3.
3. The person calling you has fallen off a cruise ship and is phoning for help as they are drowning.
4. You are being called by a ventriloquist who is practising his stage routine with a glass of water.
Either way, it's really annoying and you will only get about 1 word in three of what they are saying. Afterwards, when they see you next, it will all be YOUR fault as you weren't listening!
Husband: Oh my God, look at the place! I told you to clean the front room as I was bringing the Boss back for dinner!
Wife: No, what you said was "Blurbledearblurble, blurble crackle blurble Dinner." How many times have I told you to call me on the land line and not use that sodding scuba phone!?
Typically an aussie rules football coach does this when they are very upset or about to lose big time
Oh my he is eating the phone
When the lovely people on the other end of the phone put you into an infinite loop of either automated systems or department transfers or just on hold where no one is on the other end to pick up.
>I'm going to transfer you to the other department now.
\Could you stay on the line until they pick up?
>Sorry we're very busy, I have to get to the other callers.
\:five hours later in phone limbo:
Welcome your phone is full of Shrek porn.
My friend had a Green phone and I disliked him ever since.
Brian: Hey did you hear? Heather dropped her new iPhone X and the back of it is cracked to shit! She has to pay an extra $600 to make an insurance claim to get it replaced. It happened right after she spent all that money on those airports since it had no headphone jack!
Michael: That's what happens when you buy a fucking hipster phone!