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Story of anything epic that happens while sitting on the shitter.
Guy 1 "I had just been prescribed Norvir, a powerful antiviral drug. Having only taken azidothymidine prior, I made the mistake of taking Norvir and then going to the video store. As I stood in line, I felt a tummy rumble, the likes of which had never been felt in this particular colon ever before. Within moments, the urge became too much to resist, so I dashed to the bathroom at the bar next door, since the video store had no john. At the bar, my anus gushed forth a river of noxious shit the likes of which I had never encountered before. Smelling of paint, and with sticking power to match, the bowl filled up with a volume of shit I never dreamed any colon could hold. After the disaster, i went to wipe, and found a long string of mucous dangling from my ass, presumably the former mucosal lining of my colon. I tried to avoid getting it on my hand but so stringy was the mucous, it was unavoidable. After washing my hands, ass, and the toilet seat, I left the bar, and tipped the bartender $5. To this day, I feel badly that I didnt tip $10."
Guy 2 "Thats one epic toilet story bro"
13👍 3👎
When something so epic happens, you just can't help but put your palm to your face with your head lowered.
John just told his ex he cheated on her at the party last night. (Epic Face Palm)
10👍 2👎
Epic Birthday Bomb is when you, and possibly a few friends, start leaving fake birthday wished on someone's social networking profile in hopes that others will unknowingly follow along.
This acts as A) An annoyance for the person receiving numerous status updates when it's not even their birthday, and B) A nice way to past time at your otherwise boring ass job.
Dave B: Did you see how many idiots thought it was really Rob's Birthday when all they had to do was look on the information section?
Jeannette B: TOTES! Epic Birthday Bomb!
7👍 1👎
An epic phone that will make all iPhone users cry. This phone will give you bragging rights and will destroy the iPhone. If you show this phone to girls, they will want to suck your dick and want to be "friends" with you. It will make you like a god. You will become a Stud.
Person 1: Dude, tight ass phone. What is it, bro?
Person 2: Bitch, it is the Sumsung Epic 4G . It owns the fucking iPhone. It makes it look like a piece of SHIT.
Person 1: I agree bro.
7👍 1👎
Epic Violin Guy played with Epic Sax Guy in the Eurovision 2010 contest and performed in the band The Sunstroke Project and Olia Tira. But, Epic Violin Guy is not as cool as Epic Sax Guy
person 1-did you hear of epic violin guy??
person 2-FUCK YOU... DON'T YOU EVER DISGRACE EPIC SAX GUY LIKE THAT AGAIN!!!
person 1-"slices throat"
18👍 5👎
When you hit multiple people with your car for the lols
*gets a double kill IRL*
-Wow that’s an epic gamer moment
15👍 5👎
Having a pointless, useless existance and never amounting to anything in life. Much like being a useless tool no one wants to be around and overall general douchebaggery and never doing anything right. Also being known as the Karen of the group (see Dane Cook joke).
Sarcastic Jackass #1 : Kyle is just...so fucked up. He must have the Epic Fail Syndrome. It runs in the Demartino family.
Sarcastic Jackass #2: Yeah, why else would he have to lie about going to college. Did you hear he actually ASKED a girl to "reserve his spot for a partner project"? Who the fuck does that?
Sarcastic Jackass #3: Lmfao what a faggot
Girl (EFS subject asked to reserve spot) : OMFG I cant stand that fucker! Hes gotta have some sort of learning disability, he jsut stands there and flips his hair. Damn right he has Epic Fail Syndrome!
25👍 9👎