masturbator in chief

When a sitting president ignores or feebly responds to a natural disaster.

George W. Bush was a masturbator in chief when Hurricane Katrina hit New Orleans.

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Social Media Masturbation

"Liking" your own post on Facebook or retweeting your own tweet on Twitter

"I look so awesome today" - Liking this comment with a thumbs up beneath it on Facebook or retweeting comment on Twitter is Social Media Masturbation.

Mortal Masturbation March

The female equivalent to Destroy Dick December.
Starting 12AM March, bust a squirt everyday until 12AM April 1. On March 1, squirt once, on the second, squirt twice, and on the third, squirt three times... etc.
No Finger February is a training for Mortal Masturbation March.

Are you ready for Mortal Masturbation March?
Hell ya

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Post-masturbation Depression

Post-masturbation Depression, A.K.A. PMD, is the feeling of depression, and sadness that you just molested yourself. When you have PMD, the victim loses all of his/her sexual appetite.

Mark: Hey Kyle want to go to a strip club?
Kyle: No thanks, I just jerked it and have the worst case of Post-masturbation Depression
Mark: Lame...

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Off the grid masturbation

Solo masturbation that occurs without use of the internet, computers/devices, or television. Such as with magazines, imagination, memories, paper photos etc.

I engaged in some off the grid masturbation when the power went out.

object-oriented masturbation

the stimulation or manipulation of one’s own ego by way of using object-oriented code in places where it has no advantage instead resulting in unnecessary complication and bloat.

Objective: Sum two numbers and print the result in the format “The answer is: X” where X is the sum of the two numbers:

Object-oriented masturbation solution:

function MathLib(){

this.answer = null;
}

MathLib.prototype.sum = function (x,y){

this.answer = x + y;
}

MathLib.prototype.getAnswer = function(){

return this.answer;
}

function Printer(){

this.preText = ”;
}

Printer.prototype.setPreText = function(str){

this.preText = str;
}

Printer.prototype.out = function (str){

document.write(this.preText + str);
}

// To run
var math = new MathLib();
var print = new Printer();
math.sum(1,1);
print.setPreText(‘The answer is: ‘);
print.out(math.answer);

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Post Masturbation Snooze

The overwhelming tierdness recieved after a very successful session of masturbation. The snooze is used as a way to relax and restore the body to premasturbation state.

Boots:" dam dude that post masturbation snooze had me out for at least 2 hours. it was amazing and my cock feels great."

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