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closet hopper

A gay one hopping into another gay ones closet whilst jacking off

Mark is such a closet hopper

by Assclapper6969 July 5, 2019


Closet Bandito

A person who pretends to like the same bands & artists that your friends like just to get accepted into your crowd & mingle with you, but when they are alone, they listen only to their old shameful bullshit music in the closet to avoid embarrassment.

"Cornelius is a Closet Bandito! He pretended to like our favorite bands & dress up cool just to hang with us. He just pretends to listen to Uglyhead. This whole time, he's been flailing his arms & dancing to Peyton Parrish in the closet!"

by ANOTHERDEADROMEO May 29, 2023


Closet baby

A baby conceived by two people in a lavender marriage specifically to hide the parents homosexuality. Closet babies can be conceived through IVF, turkey baster or through the old fashioned way if the gay man is drunk enough and watched enough gay porn earlier in the day to make "it" work.

His agent wants him to stay closeted so he bearded up and they popped out a closet baby.

by Mr freeze September 26, 2017


Closet Neo-Nazi

A person who is secretly a neo-nazi who perfectly blends with apolitical people or anyone. They use burner accounts to troll SJWs and anyone they oppose.

How do you identify a Closet Neo-Nazi? Ironic memes and shitposts. (May not be guaranteed)

by Ronald Lee November 7, 2023


becoming less closeted

Someone who is 'becoming less closeted' exhibits certain behaviors.

Although such a person is still closeted (by definition) any individual who is subject to such behavior can be reassured that their associate or peer is in fact ‘becoming less closeted’.

The most apparent circumstance wherein an absolute lack of irrefutability persists by accord to what is within association to an individual's will to ‘become less closeted’ takes place when a person who is ‘becoming less closeted’ engages another individual with a private message on any social networking site and then proceeds to block the recipient.

This is a sure sign that the sender is ‘becoming less closeted’.

Note: If the final message before the act of ‘blocking’ contains a ‘laugh cry emoji’ then there ought to be no uncertainty that the transmitter is doing their very best and putting forth their very best effort within a pursuit to ‘become less closeted’.

Hey, guess what? Walter Mercado slipped into my DM’s and then blocked me immediately afterward.

It appears he is ‘becoming less closeted’. Good for him.

I think I’ll screenshot his activities and post them in the group we share along with a definition of what it means to ‘become less closeted’.

by Sir H.C. Notneb April 14, 2023


Closet Poker

A man who plays Pokemon go in secret. Typically gay men with beards, and they are normally outdoors or sports type men. They can be spotted by their social media post denouncing Pokemon go, but secretly loving it.

Jesse is always dogging Pokemon Go on social medi, and I bet he's a Closet Poker who secretly loves men and Pokemon.

by Kenziel2323 August 2, 2016


Closet Escaper

Person who successfully accepted that they're gay or successfully escaped Narnia.

Did you hear about Colton? He's finally came out! He's a closet escaper!

by Cheeseburger69 December 9, 2015